Hindi teacher asks Santa: Kaal kitne prakaar ke hote hain?
Santa: O G 7 prakaar ke -
1. Local kaal
2. STD kaal
3. ISD kaal
4. Missed kaal
5. Received kaal
6. Dialled kaal aur
7. Sat Sri Akal

21

Punjabi |
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Teacher: Oxygen ki khoj 1858 wich hoi.
Sardaar: Thank GOD, mera janm us ton pehla nahi hoyea,
nahi te main ghut-ghut ke mar jaata.

10

Punjabi
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Teacher: How would have Birbal told
Akbar that his pet cat got wet in rain.
Student: Jahan-panha,
aapki billi
jo thi silly
baarish mein ho gayi gilli..

31

Hindi |
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Teacher to Banta: Tell me five animals living in water?
Banta: Frog.
Teacher: Theek hai, hor das?
Banta: Frog da peo, ohdi maa, behen te wotti..

73

Punjabi
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New Teacher:
Students tell ur name and hobbies.
Now Boys start:
I am Robert, My hobby is watching bubble in the bath tub.
I am Rohit, My hobby is watching bubble in the bath tub.
I am Raghu, My hobby is watching bubble in the bath tub.
Teacher: I wonder u all have same hobbies, next girl..
I am bubble.

20

English
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Teacher to student: A=B, B=C so A=C,
Now tell me an example just like that
Student: I love u, u love ur daughter,
so I love ur daughter.

20

English
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Teacher: Please pay a little attention.
Student: I am paying as little as I can, sir.

10

English
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Teacher asks a kid: What are the two latest versions of Java..?
Kid says: Marjava and Mitjava.

30

English
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Teacher: Banta, make a sentence
in which 1 word is repeated 4 times.
Banta: If Lara Dutta marries Brian Lara,
she becomes Lara Lara.
O Bolo Tara Rara!!

30

Hindi
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Teacher: Beta, bataao to "TAMSO MAA JYOTIR GAMAYA" shlok ka kya arth hai?
Student: Tum so jaao maa, main JYOTI ke paas jaa rahaaa hun....

30

Hindi
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Teacher to class - A for..?
Class - Apple.
Teacher - Zor se BOLO
Class - JAI MATA DI..

22

Hindi
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Joe: We will soon become rich.
Jill: How?
Joe: Tomorrow my mathematics teacher will teach me
how to convert paisa into rupees.

120

English
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Teacher: Dhritrashtra ke 100 putra the aur
Paandu ke sirf 5, aisa kyun..?
Student: Madam, jinki aankhein hoti hain,
unhe aur bhi kaam hote hain..

70

Hindi
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Teacher to a primary student:
Aaj tum late kaise? School to saat baje shuru ho jaata hai.
Kid: Madam, aap meri itni chinta mat kiya karo..
log galaat samjhenge.

204

Hindi
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History sir was on leave.
So science sir was asked to set the paper.
The very first question shocked students:
Describe Jhansi ki Rani with a neat diagram and label the parts..

219

English
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Teacher: Late kyun aaye?
Kid: Mummy papa ki ladaai ho gayi.
Teacher: To late kyun hue?
Kid: Mera ek joota mummy ke paas tha aur
dusra papa ke paas..

110

Hindi
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Teacher: Which was the first silent film in Hindi?
Student: If the film was silent, how could you know it was hindi..??

24

Hindi
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Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge?
Student: Shadi karunga.
Teacher: Nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge?
Student: Dulha banunga.
Teacher: Oh ho! Papa tumse kya chaahte hain?
Student: Pota.
Teacher: Hey Bhagwaan! abey zindagi ka kya maksad hai?
Student: Hum do, humaare do.

103

Hindi
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Teacher: What is the name of MS Dhoni's wife?
Student: SMS Dhoni.
Teacher: What?
Student: Sakshi Mahendra Singh Dhoni..

70

English
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Mohammed, a Pakistani child entered his classroom
on the first day of school in USA.
'What's your name?', asked the teacher.
'Mohammed' - answered the kid.
'You are in America now..
From Now your name will be Johnny' - replied the teacher.
In the evening Mohammed returned home.
'How was your day, Mohammed?' - asked his mother.
'My name is not Mohammed. I am in America and
now me name is Johnny'.
'Ah, are you ashamed of your name,
are your trying to dishonour your parents,
your heritage, your religion? Shame on you', and
she beats him. Then she calls his father and
he too beats him.
The next day Mohammed returned to school.
When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked
'What happened to you little Johnny?'
'Well Madam, 4 hours after becoming an American..
I was attacked by two Pakistani's..at home..'

00

English
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Teacher to student-homework kyun nahi kiya?
Student-sir, light nahi thi.
Teacher-toh mombatti jala leta.
Student-sir,maachis nahi thi.
Teacher-kyu?
Student-puja ghar me rakhi thi.
Teacher-toh le aata.
Student-nahaya nahi tha sir.
Teacher-nahaya kyu nahi tha?
Student-paani nahi tha sir
Teacher-arey, pani kyu ni tha?
Student-sir motor ni chal rahi thi.
Teacher-huh, huh. ab motor ko kya hua?
Student-kitni bar bolu light nahi thi.

3412

Hindi
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Result Agar Achha ho to:
Teacher: Hoshiyar bachcha hai
Maa: Bhagwaan ki kripa hai
Papa: Beta kiska hai
DOST: Chal daaru peete hain.
AUR
Result Agar Bura ho to:
Teacher: Padhai mein dhyaan hi nahi tha
Maa: AAG lage iss Mobile ko
Papa: Laad pyar ne Bigaad diya
DOST: Chal daaru peete hain.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Duniya badal jaati hai par DOST nahi badalte.

30

Hindi
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