01Santa : Yaar ek ladki mujhko hans ke dekh rahi hai.
Banta: Sahi se dekh, hans ke dekh rahi hai,
ya dekh ke hans rahi hai..
Hindi |
22एक बार संता अपनी पत्नी जीतो के साथ कॉफी पीने जाता है और
- Hemant Singh
दो हॉट कॉफी ऑर्डर करता है,
कुछ देर बाद जैसे ही वेटर कॉफी लेकर आता है तो संता, जीतो से कहता है:
संता: ओ जीतो जल्दी-जल्दी कॉफी पी ले अगर ठण्डी हो गई तो फ़ालतू में ज्यादा पैसे देने पड़ेंगे!
जीतो: क्यों क्या हुआ? मुंह जलवाने से तो अच्छा है कि, यह थोड़ी ठंडी हो जाए उसके बाद पिएं!
संता: पागल तूने इनकी रेट लिस्ट नहीं देखी, हॉट कॉफी 15 रुपए और कोल्ड कॉफ़ी 45 रुपए की है!
Hindi |
21Santa was brought to court on charges of drunken driving.
- Tarun Goma
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted,
“Order! Order!”
Santa responded immediately,
“Thank you , your honour! I’ll have a scotch and soda.”
English |
10Teacher: What is the difference between a radio and a newspaper..?
Santa : Newspaper mein tandoor ki rotiyan daal sakte hain, radio mein nahi..
Hindi |
41संता की मौत बिजली गिरने से हो गई
पर उसकी लाश मुस्कुराते हुए मिली
भगवान ने पुछा ऐसा क्यों ?
संता - मैनु लगा जी कोई फोटो खींच रहा है ..
Santa ki maut bijli girne se ho gai
par uski laash muskuraate hue mili
Bhagwan ne poocha aisa kyun?
Santa - Mainu laga ji koi photo kheench raha hai..
Hindi |
10Santa ek jyotish ke paas kundali (horoscope) dikhaane gaya.
Jyotish: Tera naam Santa hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tujhe 2 ladki aur 1 ladka hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tune abhi 10 kg rice khareede hain.
Santa : Maharaj ki jai ho.
Jyotish: Bewakoof ! Kundali dikha, Ration Card nahi..
Hindi |
20Santa : Jab me chota tha to ek baar kutub minaar se gir gaya tha.
Banta: Acha!! to mar gya ya bach gya.
Santa : Saale.! mujhe kya pata, me to chota tha...
Hindi |
00Santa raat ko machardaani laga kar so raha tha,
Achanak ek jugnoo aa gaya..
Santa : Lo ye machar humko
Torch le kar dhoondh raha hai.
Hindi |
00Santa ki wife kidnap ho gayi.
Kidnapper ne finger ka tukda bheja aur paise mange.
Santa : Ungali to kisi ki bhi ho sakti hai, Mundi bhej Mundi....
Hindi |
00Santa : Aaj maine paani ko ullu bana dia.
Banta: Paani ko ullu..? Woh kaise..?
Santa : Oye! Subah maine paani garam kiya aur fir thande paani se naha liya..
Hindi |
10TV reporter to Santa : Can you tell me
how many jokes are there on you?
Santa : Hardly 2 or max 3,
the rest are all true stories.
English
20Teacher: How many planets are there?
Santa : Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, ...wagerah...wagerah...
Teacher: Aur batao?
Santa : Aur bas sab badhiya! Mata rani ki kirpa hai. Aap sunao.
Hindi
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