A very wealthy old man was dying and summoned his lawyer, his Priest, and his Doctor.
As his final and last wish, he gave each 2,50,000 in cash. He said he wanted to prove that you "could" take it with you when you die. He requested that each one of them throw the cash in his grave just before they shoveled the dirt in.
A few days later at the funeral the Priest walked up to the grave after the Eulogy and with tears in his eyes, tossed the money into the grave. Shortly after, the Doctor also did the same. Last the lawyer came and tossed in an envelope.
At the family gathering, or wake if you will, the Priest walked up to the Doctor and the lawyer and said, "I must confess, I kept out 25,000 of his money for the orphanage". With that the Doctor also confided that he too kept out 50,000 for the new Medical Clinic for the poor. The lawyer then exclaimed, "Shame, shame on you both!, I gave him a check for the entire amount!"
Soldier: Sir, i want 1 week leave to go home.
Senior: I will give you one month leave if you will caught enemies tank.
After some time.
Soldier: Sir, i have caught the enemies tank, it is standing outside.
Senior (astonished): Great! How did you managed that.
Soldier: Sir, when enemies soldiers need leave
they also borrow tank from us.
Cricketer ka beta: Arre dekho maa..
papa sixer per sixer maare jaa rahe hain!!
Maa: Beta theek se dekho..
Kashmir ki romantic waadiyon mein,
barfeeli hawaaon mein,
jheel ke kinaare baithe Raanjhe ko
Heer ne kya kahaa..??
Ve moeyaa Hero na ban..
Sweater pehen le.
Aurangzeb: Senapati batao ki hum
Shivaji ko kyun nahi dhund pa rahe hain?
Senapati: Kyunki Maharaj hum Mooghal (Mughal) hain Google nahi..
Father to son: Whenever i beat you,
you don't get annoyed, how you control your anger..?
Son: I start cleaning the toilet seat with your toothbrush.
Anaath Ashram Manager to Bania:- Hemant Singh
Sethji, aap hamare anaath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?
Funny Bania: Mein anaath ashram mein apne Char bachhe bhej sakta hu.
Hansa: AUTOMATICALLY matlab?
Praful: Jab auto mein baith kar koi ladki ganji ho jaaye
to usko kehte hain,
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license.
He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
Policeman: "I don't care who you know! You're getting fined!"
Na jaane woh humse kya chupaati thi,
kuch tha uske honto pe magar na jaane kyon sharmaati thi,
jab humne muh khulwaa ke dekha..
to pataa chalaa..
woh to gutkha khaati thi!!
Sheher ki gali mein paan ki dukan
Devdas ne dekhi Paro ki muskan
Devdas ne khilaya Paro ko paan
Khaa ke paan Paro boli "Shukriya Bhaijaan"..
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