Santa Quotes

A real story from Konni, Pathanamthitta, Kerala:
A BPL family got water connection. Everyone was happy . The tap never gave any water after initial testing but after 3-4 months a bill of Rs. 480/- came in June 2024. The poor widow lady went to the local water office to complain that she had received a water bill showing meter reading zero. She also told authorities that being a BPL family she was told that no water bill will come.

The officials told her that her connection is yet to be converted to BPL and thus she has to pay the bill. They told that the connection will be converted to BPL in January 2025. Further, they directed her to an engineer. The engineer confirmed that as the water tank is still under construction so no water has been supplied to her as reflected in zero meter reading.

The lady asked them that she wants to surrender the water connection to which the officials told her that then she needs to pay panchayat penalty for agreeing to a water connection and then surrendering it. They told her that they will temporarily disconnect the connection but in case the meter reading will reflect any usage then she will face water theft charges.

Har Ghar Jal or Har Ghar Bill?
#HarGharJal #JalJeevanMission #jalshaktiabhiyan #jalshakti

Santa mango juice ka glass le k baitha tha.
Banta aaya aur fataak se juice pi gya.
Santa : Meri to yar kismat hi kharaab hai.
Banta: Kyon, kya hua?
Beta fail ho gya.
Biwi dost k saath bhag gyi,
Ghar mein chori ho gye,
Nal mein pani nahi,
Ghar mein light nahi,
Ab juice me Zehar daal k peene ko rakha tha,
aur WO BHI TU PI gaya.

After returning back from a foreign trip,
santa asked his wife : Do I look like a foreigner..?
wife : No! Why..?
santa : In London a lady asked me, Are you a foreigner..

Santa : Jaldi ek glass juice do ladaai hone waali hai.
.Ek glass peene ke baad,.
Santa : Ek glass aur do ladaai hone waali hai.
Juice-wala: Ladaai kab hone waali hai..?
Santa : Jab tu paise maangega..

मंगल ग्रह पर पानी मिलने की खबर सुन कर
संता नासा फ़ोन करता है .
संता : ओ जी यह मंगल पर पानी मिल गया आपको ..?
नासा : यस
संता : ओ जी मुबारक हो जी..इक्क बोतल पानी चाहिदा सी
नासा : सॉरी , वी कांट गिव
संता : ओह ले ..इतना पैसा खर्चा करके
पानी भी ढून्ढ लित्ता है ते दे वी नहीं रहे
बन्दा धोने क्या मंगल पे जाएगा ..

Mangal greh par paani milne ki khabar sun kar
Santa NASA phone karta hai.
Santa : O ji yeh mangal par paani mil gaya aapko..?
NASA: Yes
Santa : O ji mubaarak ho ji..Ikk botal paani chaahida si
NASA: Sorry, we can't give.
Santa : Oh le..itna paisa kharchaa karke
paani bhi dhoond litta hai te de v nahi rahe
banda dhone kya mangal pe jaayega..

Teacher: Oxygen ki khoj 1858 wich hoi.
Sardaar: Thank GOD , mera janm us ton pehla nahi hoyea,
nahi te main ghut-ghut ke mar jaata.

Accident ke baad.
Driver: Maine car ki headlight ON kar ke bataya tha ki
pehle mjhe nikalne do.
Santa : Maine bhi to wiper chala ke bataya tha ki 'na kaake na'.