The word DIET stand for:
D - Did
I - I
E - Eat
T - That

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A lady asks a pandit: Ghar ki sukh-shanti ke liye kaun sa vrat rakhun..?
Padit: Moun Vrat..

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At Traffic Signal Boy Friend to Girl Friend:
Jaan main tumhari aankhon main sara jahan dekh sakta hu.
Pass me ek ladka without helmet khada tha.
Yeh sunte hi bola: Bhai sahab, mujhe sirf itna bata do ki
Aage chaurahe par Helmet ki checking ho rahi hai ya nahi..

- Hemant Singh
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TT : BABA, kaha jaoge?
Sadhu : jaha Ram ka janma hua tha.
TT : Ticket dikhao
Sadhu : nahi he
TT : To chalo
Sadhu : kaha?
TT : Jaha Krishna ka janma hua tha..

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I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw
that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- Joan Rivers

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Boy: I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably seated.
Girl: So what do you do?

Boy: I close my eyes and act like i am sleeping..!

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Soldier: Sir, i want 1 week leave to go home.
Senior: I will give you one month leave if you will caught enemies tank.

After some time.
Soldier: Sir, i have caught the enemies tank, it is standing outside.
Senior (astonished): Great! How did you managed that.
Soldier: Sir, when enemies soldiers need leave
they also borrow tank from us.

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Doctor paagal se: Yeh chithi tum kise likh rahe ho..?
Paagal: Apne aap ko.
Doctor: Achcha isme kya likha hai.
Paagal: Maalum nahi.
Doctor: Kyu..?
Paagal: Abhi mujhe mili kahaan hai..!

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Hindi
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When you are watching,
when you are playing,
when you are sad,
when you are glad,
when you are mad,
when you are upset,
when you have problems,
just call me,
coz my incoming is FREE!

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Banana: Why are you crying?
Apple: All of them cut and eat me.
Banana: Poda! You are better than me.
All of them remove my dress & eat me.

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Someday u'll forget abt me..
my name.. my voice..
who i am and who i am to u..
and if that ever happens..
teri kasam khoon-kharaabaa ho jaayegaa..

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Hindi
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