00Santa went to doctor to loose weight.
Doctor: If you will run eight kilometers a day for 300 days, you will loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days,
Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
Santa : I'm 2400 kms from home..
English |
10Santa : Lalaji dettol soap hai,
- Tarun Goma
Lala: ha,
Santa : acha vala hai,
Lala: ha,
Santa : achi quality ka hai,
Lala: ha bhai ha,
Santa : thik hai hath dhokr 1kg aata do..
Hindi |
20How a romantic jatt will propose a girl?????
Teri boothi local bus wargi, mera ticket kataaun nu jee kardaa,
teri tor ni sohniye meri majh vargi, mera sangal paun nu jee kardaa.
Punjabi
41संता की मौत बिजली गिरने से हो गई
पर उसकी लाश मुस्कुराते हुए मिली
भगवान ने पुछा ऐसा क्यों ?
संता - मैनु लगा जी कोई फोटो खींच रहा है ..
Santa ki maut bijli girne se ho gai
par uski laash muskuraate hue mili
Bhagwan ne poocha aisa kyun?
Santa - Mainu laga ji koi photo kheench raha hai..
Hindi |
20Accident hua Bahut Bhid thi,
Santa ko dekhne ka mauka nahi mil raha tha to
woh zor se chillaya "Ye mera BAAP hai"
Bheed peeche hati to dekha GADHA MARA THA.
Hindi |
22एक बार संता अपनी पत्नी जीतो के साथ कॉफी पीने जाता है और
- Hemant Singh
दो हॉट कॉफी ऑर्डर करता है,
कुछ देर बाद जैसे ही वेटर कॉफी लेकर आता है तो संता, जीतो से कहता है:
संता: ओ जीतो जल्दी-जल्दी कॉफी पी ले अगर ठण्डी हो गई तो फ़ालतू में ज्यादा पैसे देने पड़ेंगे!
जीतो: क्यों क्या हुआ? मुंह जलवाने से तो अच्छा है कि, यह थोड़ी ठंडी हो जाए उसके बाद पिएं!
संता: पागल तूने इनकी रेट लिस्ट नहीं देखी, हॉट कॉफी 15 रुपए और कोल्ड कॉफ़ी 45 रुपए की है!
Hindi |
10Santa was the only person who was dancing in a crowd.
Later he realised that it was a mourning gathering.
English |
20Banta send sms to Santa : Bhejne wala mahan,
padhne wala buddhu.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejne wala budddhu,
padhne wala mahan.
Hindi |
10Santa ne shonk shonk mein vrat rakh liya.
Santa to Wife : Dekh sooraj dooba..?
Wife : Nahi ji.
Kuch der baad: Dekh dooba ya nahi..?
Wife : Nahi ji.
Santa : Lagta hai yeh mujhe saath lekar hi doobega..
Hindi |
10Santa apni girlfriend ko i love u kehta hai,
aur gir jaata hai.
Gf: Yeh kya kar rahe ho..?
Santa : I am falling in love ..
Hindi
11Santa apni pockets mein pathar daal ke ghoom raha tha.
Kisi ne poocha: Aisa kyon kar rahe ho..?
Santa : Is duniya mein usi ki qadar hoti hai, jiski jeb bhaari hoti hai..
Hindi |
21Santa was brought to court on charges of drunken driving.
- Tarun Goma
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted,
“Order! Order!”
Santa responded immediately,
“Thank you , your honour! I’ll have a scotch and soda.”
English |
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