Mr. Bean Called Hospital To Enquire Abt His Pregnant Wife But Quotes

If Columbus had Girl Friend ,
he might have never discovered America because..
GF: Where are you going..?
With whom..?
How are you going..?
To discover what..?
Why only you..?
What should I do when you are gone..?
Can I come with you..?
When will you be back..?
Where will you stay..?
Will you miss me..?
Columbus: Le meri maa, nahi jata! Khush..!

Couple silent in bed.
Wife thinks:
Why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman ?
Does he like someone else?
Is he seeing someone?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight?
Does my make up repel him these days.
Is he upset with my nagging?
WHY IS HE UPSET?

Husband thinking: Damnit man, Dhoni se kuch nahi ho Sakta, aur yeh Gautam gambhir..

A kid went late for school.
Teacher : Why are you late ?
Kid : Madam, my parents were fighting.
Teacher: So what If they were fighting,
still you could have come on time.
Kid : Actually, my one shoe had been taken by dad and other by mom.

Two astrophysicists are discussing their research in a bar one evening
when a drunk who has been sitting and listening in at the next seat
turns and says, in a very worried voice,
"What was that you just said!!??"

"We were discussing stellar evolution, and I said to my colleague here
that the Sun would run out of nuclear fuel and turn into a red giant
star in about 5 billion years, possibly melting the Earth."

"Whew!!," says the drunk,
"You really had me worried. I thought you said 5 million."

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license.
He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
Policeman: "I don't care who you know! You're getting fined!"