"Did Your Late Employer Give You A Testimonial..?", Interviewer Asked. Santa: Quotes

"Did your late employer give you a testimonial..?", Interviewer asked.
Santa : "Yes, Sir. But the way employers look at it when I apply for a job
make one think there's something wrong with it."
Interviewer: "What does it say, then?"
Santa : "Why, he said I was one of the best men his firm had ever turned out."

A ship was sinking.
Captain: Does any one know how to pray?
Santa comes forward and says he can pray.
Captain: Ok Santa , you pray;
Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket
as we are one jacket short.

Tintumon: Aaj kal TV mein channel bahut kharaab aa rahe hain.
Santa : Nahi to, humaare papa ne to TataSky lagwaa liya hai,
ab to bilkul theek hain, aap apna cable check karwa lo.

Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..

Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.

Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.

Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.

Teacher: What is the difference between a radio and a newspaper..?
Santa : Newspaper mein tandoor ki rotiyan daal sakte hain, radio mein nahi..

Santa first time travelling in plane.
Plane began to run on run-way.
Santa got angry and said,
"Saalio, jahaaz ta agge hi char ghante late aa,
te tussi sadko-sadki paa liya."

Santa : Ek chor ne mujhe chaku dikha ke lut liya,
Banta: Tere paas to hamesha gun hoti hai..?
Santa : Haan.. 2 lakh ki hai
maine chupaa li thi varna woh bhi le jaata..