00"Did your late employer give you a testimonial..?", Interviewer asked.
Santa : "Yes, Sir. But the way employers look at it when I apply for a job
make one think there's something wrong with it."
Interviewer: "What does it say, then?"
Santa : "Why, he said I was one of the best men his firm had ever turned out."
English |
20संता बड़ी देर से अपने कमरे में कुछ ढूंढ़ रहा था, परेशान होकर उसकी पत्नी जीतो बोली;
- Hemant Singh
जीतो: तुम इतनी देर से क्या ढूंढ़ रहे हो?
संता: हिडन कैमरा!
जीतो: तुम्हें ऐसा क्यों लगा इस कमरे में हिडन कैमरा लगा है?
संता: अगर यहाँ हिडन कैमरा नहीं लगा होता तो टी.वी. में आ रहे इस आदमी को कैसे पता होता कि हम स्टार प्लस देख रहे हैं, बार-बार यह आप देख रहे हैं स्टार प्लस क्यों बोल रहा है?
Hindi |
00मंगल ग्रह पर पानी मिलने की खबर सुन कर
संता नासा फ़ोन करता है .
संता : ओ जी यह मंगल पर पानी मिल गया आपको ..?
नासा : यस
संता : ओ जी मुबारक हो जी..इक्क बोतल पानी चाहिदा सी
नासा : सॉरी , वी कांट गिव
संता : ओह ले ..इतना पैसा खर्चा करके
पानी भी ढून्ढ लित्ता है ते दे वी नहीं रहे
बन्दा धोने क्या मंगल पे जाएगा ..
Mangal greh par paani milne ki khabar sun kar
Santa NASA phone karta hai.
Santa : O ji yeh mangal par paani mil gaya aapko..?
NASA: Yes
Santa : O ji mubaarak ho ji..Ikk botal paani chaahida si
NASA: Sorry, we can't give.
Santa : Oh le..itna paisa kharchaa karke
paani bhi dhoond litta hai te de v nahi rahe
banda dhone kya mangal pe jaayega..
Hindi |
20Santa to Doctor:
Mainu ik problem hai,
gall karde hoe mainu aadmi dikhaai ni sujhdaa.
Doctor: Aisa kab-kab hota hai?
Santa : Phone karte waqt .....
Punjabi
00Santa pravachan sun ke ghar aaya
aur apni biwi ko godh mein utha liya.
Biwi: Pravachan mein romance sikhaya hai kya?
Santa : Nahi, pravachan mein kaha ki apne dukhon ko khud uthaao.
Hindi
21Santa : Aaj mere paas paisa hai,
business hai, bangla hai,
tere paas kya hai?
Banta: Mere paas bhi paisa hai,
busines hai, bangla hai.
Santa : Oye kambakht, fir humaari maa kiske paas hai?
Hindi
00Teacher: Ek Din aisa aayega jab prithvi pe pani nahi rahega,
sab jeev nasht ho jayenge, prithvi tabaah ho jayegi.
Santa : Madamji, us din tuition aana hai kya..?
Hindi |
21Santa & Banta Safar Te Ja Rahe See,
- Tarun Goma
Raste Wichoh Raat Ho Gayi
Te Oh Tent Laga Ke So Gaye,
Raat Nu Banta Di Akh Khuli
Ohne Santa Nu Jaga Ke Kiha
Asman Wal Dekh Ke Dass Tainu Ki Nazar Aa Riha Hai
Santa Boliya Bhut Sare Sittare
Banta Is To Ki Patta Lagda Hai
Santa : Assman Bhut Hi Khubsurat Hai Te Roshni B Hai
Banta: Oye Kanjra, Koi Sada Tent Putt Ke Lai Gya Hai..
Punjabi |
10Ik vaar Santa apne yaar de viah te
jaa ke naan zyaada khaa lenda hai,
te ghar aa ke badaa aukhaa hundaa hai
te flush wich beh ke kehndaa hai:
Rabba, ya Jaan kadh leh,
ya fer Naan kadh leh..
Punjabi
22Muderer: Try karna umar-kaid ho, Faansi na ho.
Santa : Don't worry. Case poora apne haath mein hai.
After Court.
Muderer: Kya hua..?
Santa : Bahut mushkil se umar-kaid karwaai hai,
Adaalat to riha kar rahi thi.
Hindi |
00Santa : Jaldi ek glass juice do ladaai hone waali hai.
.Ek glass peene ke baad,.
Santa : Ek glass aur do ladaai hone waali hai.
Juice-wala: Ladaai kab hone waali hai..?
Santa : Jab tu paise maangega..
Hindi |
00After boarding AC Double Decker Express train Santa exclaimed,
Paise bachaane ke liye dekho
ek train ke upar
doosri train rakh kar chalaa rahe hain.
Banta: Oh nahi yaar,
upar waali train mein petrol khatam ho gaya hoga..
Hindi |
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