A carpenter was working on a building.
He was on the second story using an electric saw,
when he accidentally saws off one of his ears.
He looks down on the ground and,
in hopes of finding his ear and
having it sewn back on,
calls to the men working below.
"Hey, do any of you guys see an ear down there?"

One of the men glances around, then yells up,
"Hey buddy! Is this it?"

Carpenter: "No, mine had a pencil behind it!"

01

English |

funny.jpg

Teacher asks a kid: What are the two latest versions of Java..?
Kid says: Marjava and Mitjava.

40

English

Before I criticize a man,
I walk a mile in his shoes.
That way, if he gets angry,
he's a mile away and barefoot..

00

English |

Pujaari ko loose motions lag gaye,
Dr. ke paas dawaa lene gayaa.
Dr. ne dawaa di to pujaari ne poocha,
parhez kya karoon?????
Dr. bola, "Bas SHANKH zor se mat bajaanaa."

43

Hindi

A little boy who wanted 100 rupees.
He decided to write a letter to God .
When the postal authorities received the letter to " God "
they decided to send it to President.
The president was so impressed, touched, and amused
that he instructed his secretary
to send the little boy a 50 rupees.
The little boy was delighted with the money,
and immediately sat down to write
a thank you note to God which read
"Dear God , Thank you for sending me the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason
you had to send it through New Delhi, and as usual,
those people deducted 50 rupees."

10

English |

A famous inspirational speaker said -
'Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !'
Audience was in shock and silence.
He added -
'She was my mother.'
Applause & Laughter.
A top manager tried to crack this at home.
After a drink he said loudly to his wife , in kitchen -
'Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !'
Standing for a moment
trying to recall the second half, he finally blurted out -
'I can't remember .'

10

English

Cat: How old are you?
Elephant: I am just five.
Cat: 5? How come, you look so big?
Elephant: I am a complan boy.
Elephant how old r u?
Cat: I am just 30.
Elephant: 30? But you are looking so small?
Cat: I am a santoor girl..

10

English

Policeman: Sir, how did you come to have this accident?
Motorist: Well, the sign just there says, Stop? Look? Listen . and
while i was doing that
the train hit me.

20

English

Whenever I drive under a yellow light,
I always kiss my finger and
tap it on the roof of the car.
- Jared Padalecki

02

English |

I once drank भांग and then wrote a book.
It was called 'The Big भांग Theory'.

30

Hindi |

Here's good news for bald heads.
They say, " God made perfect heads".
Those that were not - He covered them with hair.

20

English |

Kashmir ki romantic waadiyon mein,
barfeeli hawaaon mein,
jheel ke kinaare baithe Raanjhe ko
Heer ne kya kahaa..??
Ve moeyaa Hero na ban..
Sweater pehen le.

22

Hindi

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