Yin-YangQi

हर लफ्ज़ के मायने मोहब्बत और
हर जंग का मक़सद जीत नहीं होता।

चाँद भी आता है ज़मीं पर
मगर कभी - कभी ।

अगर क़यामत तुम जैसी है
तो आज ही हो जाए ।

ये शायरी भी तेरी वफ़ा सी है
कभी बे-इन्तेहाँ
तो कभी बे-नियाज़ ।

सब आज ही बयां करोगे
कुछ तो अगली मुलाक़ात के लिए रख लो ।

सब आज ही बयां करने दो
अगली मुलाक़ात से पहले क़यामत ना हो ।

अलविदा, अब चलता हूँ
जो था सब कह दिया ।

वो चले जाते हैं अक्सर
बस कुछ देर ठहर कर ।

पत्तों की रौनक ही
पेड़ों की दास्ताँ है
ठूंठ तो बस
दर्द बयां करते हैं ।

फ़िज़ा सफ़ेद चादर ओढ़ ले
तो रुत सर्द जान पड़ती है
गुलिस्तां सजाने की चाहत हो
तो बहारों सा मिजाज़ रखिये ।

तनहाई में रहने का सबब पूछते हैं
वो जो ज़माने भर का ग़म दे गए ।

अंगारों को छूने की चाहत तो है
मगर हिम्मत नहीं ।

मुददत हुई या सदियाँ
तेरे इंतज़ार ने ये भी भुला दिया ।

जाने कब से हैं सुलग रहे
चंद बूंदों की चाहत में ।

उफ़ान और तूफ़ान
हदों के मोहताज़ नहीं ।

गुस्ताख़ी हमसे हुई है
तोहमत शराब को ना दे कोई ।

ज़लज़ले मुक़र्रर होंगे
तेरी तहरीर पर ।

समंदर सीने में है
फासले से देखिये
यूँ बेपरवाह कभी हम भी थे
एक लहर के आते ही शिकार हो गए ।

मैं तेरे ख़िलाफ़ हूँ क्यूंकि
तू मेरे ख़िलाफ़ है ।

ये ज़िन्दगी फ़क़त तेरे नाम की बरक़त से काबिज़ है ।

सहर तूने लिखवा दिया सूरज
अब ज़माना पढ़ रहा है ।

10

Urdu |

How woman call their husband in first Seven Years:
1st Year: A G..
2nd Year: O G..
3rd Year: Sunte ho..
4th Year: O chintoo ke papa..
5th Year: Maine kaha sunte ho..
6th Year: Kahaan marr gaye..
7th Year: Aap aate ho ki main aaun..

30

Hindi

A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said,
"I've found a woman just like mother!"
His father replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

10

English

A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

10

English

Human body can bear only upto 45 del (unit) of pain.
But at the time of giving birth
a woman feels upto 57 del of pain.
This is similar to 20 bones getting fractured at a time.
Love your Mother till the end of your life .

21

English |

Who was the first Indian woman
to fly abroad without passport and visa?
Guess?
Sita with Ravan to Sri Lanka.

65

English

Prospective husband : Do you have a book called,
"Man, the master of woman "?
Sales girl: The fiction department is
on the other side, Sir.

00

English

A famous inspirational speaker said -
'Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !'
Audience was in shock and silence.
He added -
'She was my mother.'
Applause & Laughter.
A top manager tried to crack this at home.
After a drink he said loudly to his wife , in kitchen -
'Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !'
Standing for a moment
trying to recall the second half, he finally blurted out -
'I can't remember .'

10

English

Couple silent in bed.
Wife thinks:
Why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman ?
Does he like someone else?
Is he seeing someone?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight?
Does my make up repel him these days.
Is he upset with my nagging?
WHY IS HE UPSET?

Husband thinking: Damnit man, Dhoni se kuch nahi ho Sakta, aur yeh Gautam gambhir..

11

Hindi

A man and a woman were fighting
on a railway station.
The lady: Ye jhaadoo dekhi hai,
ek doongi aur seedha canada pahunchega.
Santa , who was just passing by, also heard this and
immediately came to the lady,
Santa : Madam ji, jhaadoo ki kuch tillein mujhe bhi de do,
mujhe Jalandhar jaana hai.

10

Hindi |

Wife : "Women are not extravagant.
A woman can dress smartly on a sum
that would keep a man looking shabby."
Husband : That's right. What you dress on keeps me looking shabby.

00

English |

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license.
He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
Policeman: "I don't care who you know! You're getting fined!"

11

English |

Three FASTEST means of Communication:
a. Tele-Phone
b. Tele-Vision
c. Tell-a- Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE..

02

English |

A Foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but
a WISE man tells her
that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL
when her LIPS are CLOSED..

00

English |

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