Santa Returns Book To Library, Bangs It On Table & Quotes

Santa returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a shit..?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all"..?
Librarian: So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory..

Santa raat ko machardaani laga kar so raha tha,
Achanak ek jugnoo aa gaya..
Santa : Lo ye machar humko
Torch le kar dhoondh raha hai.

Santa went to an electrical shop.
Santa : 2 panke dena; 1 ladies aur 1 gents.
Salesman: Pankhon mein ladies aur gents nahi hota.
Santa : Kaise nahi hote..1 Bajaj ka de aur 1 Usha ka..

Santa : Hello, Apollo Hospital.. My friend Banta has got an Hear Attack.
Receptionist: Sir, what's your location.
Santa : Chandni Chowk, near Sunehri Masjid .
Receptionist: Can you spell that..?
Santa : After a pause, How about I take him to India Gate and
you can pick him from there..?

Santa goes to a Police station & says,
"Mujhe phone per dhamkiyaan mil rahi hain."
Police : Kaun phone karta hai?
Santa : Phone company waale bolte hain BILL na diya to KAAT denge.....

Santa ko sapne me kisi ne goli maar di!!
2nd day Santa ne apna bank account close karwa diya kyonki
bank mein likha tha - hum aapke sapno ko hakikat mein badal denge.

Santa : Aisi ki taisi kab hoti hai?
Banta: Jab loose motion lage ho aur
pajaame ki gaanth hi na khule.