Santa: Every Night I See Monkeys Playing Football In My Dreams.. Doctor: Quotes

Santa : Every night I see monkeys
playing football in my dreams..
Doctor: Take this medicine from tonight for a week.
Santa : Can I start from tomorrow..?
Because tonight is the Final Match..

Santa : Mere 4 beto me se 3 to engineer ban gaye,
Lekin kambakht ek DAAKU ban gaya.
Banta: To usko ghar se nikal do,
Santa : Yai to dikkat hai,
kama ke To sirf wahi lata hai.

Girl to sardaar- Will u marry me?
Sardaar- In our family we only marry relatives.
Mom married Dad, bhaiya married bhabhi,
didi married jiju.
So i can't marry u, Sorry..

संता की मौत बिजली गिरने से हो गई
पर उसकी लाश मुस्कुराते हुए मिली
भगवान ने पुछा ऐसा क्यों ?
संता - मैनु लगा जी कोई फोटो खींच रहा है ..

Santa ki maut bijli girne se ho gai
par uski laash muskuraate hue mili
Bhagwan ne poocha aisa kyun?
Santa - Mainu laga ji koi photo kheench raha hai..

Santa : Yaar main tainu kinni baar ph. kitta,
par tu phone hi nahi chukeyaa..?
Banta: Kyon chukaan, jehdaa main apne cell wich
30 Rs. de ke gaana lagwaayea hai
ohnu fer kaun sunega?????

Teacher: Santa , You need to improve your handwriting.
Santa : Sir, actually Banta needs improvement.
He only completes my homework.

A kid asked Santa : Are you Punjabi?
Santa (proudly) : Yes.
Santa : But how do you know?
Kid : You are wearing a Kada.
Santa asks the kid : Are you Punjabi too?
Kid : Yes.
Santa : Do you drink Lassi daily?
Kid : No
Santa : Sorry, but then you are not a Punjabi.
Kid : Oh, I am Haryanvi.
Santa : Do you eat Ghee daily?
Kid : Yes
Santa (happily) : Yes, then you are Haryanvi..