Ladki pataane ka tarika:
Chupke se uske peeche jaa kar use daraao.
Agar woh hasi to samjho pat gai..
Agar gussa hui to zor-zor se chillao,
Didi darr gayi..Didi darr gayi..

102

Hindi
jokes.jpg

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martin us.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies,
"If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

Details:
Most words that end in "us" are pluralized by changing the "us" to "i"
(e.g. cactus - cacti, genius - genii, Stimulus - stimuli) and most of those words have Latin roots. So the Latin scholar thinks of "martini" as being plural, so he singularises it by calling it a "martinus".

01

English |

Banana: Why are you crying?
Apple: All of them cut and eat me.
Banana: Poda! You are better than me.
All of them remove my dress & eat me.

52

English

A very wealthy old man was dying and summoned his lawyer, his Priest, and his Doctor.
As his final and last wish, he gave each 2,50,000 in cash. He said he wanted to prove that you "could" take it with you when you die. He requested that each one of them throw the cash in his grave just before they shoveled the dirt in.

A few days later at the funeral the Priest walked up to the grave after the Eulogy and with tears in his eyes, tossed the money into the grave. Shortly after, the Doctor also did the same. Last the lawyer came and tossed in an envelope.

At the family gathering, or wake if you will, the Priest walked up to the Doctor and the lawyer and said, "I must confess, I kept out 25,000 of his money for the orphanage". With that the Doctor also confided that he too kept out 50,000 for the new Medical Clinic for the poor. The lawyer then exclaimed, "Shame, shame on you both!, I gave him a check for the entire amount!"

11

English |

Saddam(Narak mein): Yamraaj ji, mujhe pakistan baat karni hai.
Yamraaj: Karlo.
After the call..
Saddam: Kitne rupae hue..?
Yamraaj: Narak to narak calls free hain.

62

Hindi

Hansa: AUTOMATICALLY matlab?
Praful: Jab auto mein baith kar koi ladki ganji ho jaaye
to usko kehte hain,
AUTO-MEIN-TAKLI!!!

31

Hindi

Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi,
jab Dulhn phero ke waqt uske paas aa kar baithi to woh bola,
"Thoda paas ho ke baith, ek sawari aur baith sakti hai."

- Tarun Goma

41

Hindi |

Ek Chinti aur Haathi ko Prem ho gaya..
Chinti ke Maa-Baap ne Shaadi se inkar kar diya..
Reason poocha to kaha:
Ladke ke daant Baahar hai!!

82

Hindi

Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat.
The government hates competition..

- Vidhi

11

English |

God made each and everyone of us unique
until he got to China.
Copy paste.. copy paste..

10

English |

Endegi kutahtar az an ast ke be khosumat bogzarad va ghalbha

geramitar az anand ke beshkanand.

farda tolu khahad kard, hata agar ma nabashim.
pas biaeid karte sukhteman ra be yekdigar bedahim!

- Mukhtar

01

Persian |

Policeman: Sir, how did you come to have this accident?
Motorist: Well, the sign just there says, Stop? Look? Listen . and
while i was doing that
the train hit me.

20

English