2 soldiers capture an enemy &
gave him a dice & told that
if he get 1,2,3,4 or 5 then he will be killed.
The captured soldier asks what if he gets 6.
They replied - then it's again your turn..

00

English |

funny.jpg

Hansa: AUTOMATICALLY matlab?
Praful: Jab auto mein baith kar koi ladki ganji ho jaaye
to usko kehte hain,
AUTO-MEIN-TAKLI!!!

32

Hindi

Santa ek jyotish ke paas kundali (horoscope) dikhaane gaya.
Jyotish: Tera naam Santa hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tujhe 2 ladki aur 1 ladka hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tune abhi 10 kg rice khareede hain.
Santa : Maharaj ki jai ho.
Jyotish: Bewakoof ! Kundali dikha, Ration Card nahi..

10

Hindi |

Kal hum bhi jashan-e-aazadi manate lekin
Hum se koi jhandiyaan cheen kar le gaya..

00

Hindi |

Couple silent in bed.
Wife thinks:
Why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman ?
Does he like someone else?
Is he seeing someone?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight?
Does my make up repel him these days.
Is he upset with my nagging?
WHY IS HE UPSET?

Husband thinking: Damnit man, Dhoni se kuch nahi ho Sakta, aur yeh Gautam gambhir..

11

Hindi

Sweet Flirt
Boy: Tumhare Pen mein INK nahi hai kya??
Girl: Andhe ho kya?
Chal to raha hai..!
Boy: Achcha to Apna mobile number Likh ke dikhao..

20

Hindi |

Whenever I drive under a yellow light,
I always kiss my finger and
tap it on the roof of the car.
- Jared Padalecki

02

English |

Two astrophysicists are discussing their research in a bar one evening
when a drunk who has been sitting and listening in at the next seat
turns and says, in a very worried voice,
"What was that you just said!!??"

"We were discussing stellar evolution, and I said to my colleague here
that the Sun would run out of nuclear fuel and turn into a red giant
star in about 5 billion years, possibly melting the Earth."

"Whew!!," says the drunk,
"You really had me worried. I thought you said 5 million."

00

English |

I'll admit that the Chinese kids
in math class are pretty smart
but doing it with their eyes closed
that's a bit tricky..

03

English |

Guy in pub, with gal frnd...


Suddenly, he says:''I love U.!''


Gal frnd asks:''Is that U or the beer talking?''


He replies:''Its me Talking to the BEER.!!

20

English

To succeed in life , you need three things:
a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.
- Reba McEntire

10

English |

Ek kanjoos ke bete ka acident ho gaya.
Dr: Aapke bete ki dono leg katni padegi.
Kanjoos ne apna sir pakad liya
Dr: Kya hua..?
Kanjoos: Kal hi saale ko nayi chappal dilayi thi.

50

Hindi |

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