When TITANIC Was Drowning, An Italian Asks Santa, "How Far Is Quotes

When TITANIC was drowning, an Italian asks Santa ,
"How far is land?"
Santa :"4 kms."
Italian jumps into sea and asks,
"Which direction?"
Santa : "DOWNWARDS..!"

Santa baraf ka tukda haath mein le kar
gaur se dekh raha tha.
Banta asked: Kya kar rahe ho?
Santa : Dekh raha hun leak kaha se ho raha hai..

Santa ek jyotish ke paas kundali (horoscope) dikhaane gaya.
Jyotish: Tera naam Santa hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tujhe 2 ladki aur 1 ladka hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tune abhi 10 kg rice khareede hain.
Santa : Maharaj ki jai ho.
Jyotish: Bewakoof ! Kundali dikha, Ration Card nahi..

मंगल ग्रह पर पानी मिलने की खबर सुन कर
संता नासा फ़ोन करता है .
संता : ओ जी यह मंगल पर पानी मिल गया आपको ..?
नासा : यस
संता : ओ जी मुबारक हो जी..इक्क बोतल पानी चाहिदा सी
नासा : सॉरी , वी कांट गिव
संता : ओह ले ..इतना पैसा खर्चा करके
पानी भी ढून्ढ लित्ता है ते दे वी नहीं रहे
बन्दा धोने क्या मंगल पे जाएगा ..

Mangal greh par paani milne ki khabar sun kar
Santa NASA phone karta hai.
Santa : O ji yeh mangal par paani mil gaya aapko..?
NASA: Yes
Santa : O ji mubaarak ho ji..Ikk botal paani chaahida si
NASA: Sorry, we can't give.
Santa : Oh le..itna paisa kharchaa karke
paani bhi dhoond litta hai te de v nahi rahe
banda dhone kya mangal pe jaayega..

Teacher: You know, you can't sleep in my class.
Santa : I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could..

After returning back from a foreign trip,
santa asked his wife : Do I look like a foreigner..?
wife : No! Why..?
santa : In London a lady asked me, Are you a foreigner..

Teacher: Santa , You need to improve your handwriting.
Santa : Sir, actually Banta needs improvement.
He only completes my homework.