When TITANIC Was Drowning, An Italian Asks Santa, "How Far Is Quotes

When TITANIC was drowning, an Italian asks Santa ,
"How far is land?"
Santa :"4 kms."
Italian jumps into sea and asks,
"Which direction?"
Santa : "DOWNWARDS..!"

As pilots, Santa and Banta were trying to land an airplane.
They start descending and as they touch the ground Santa screamed:
"Get the airplane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...

They make a big turn and start descending again.
The moment they touch the ground, Santa screamed again
"Get the plane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...

They make a big turn and start descending again...
This goes on again and again...

During their fourth descent Santa says:
"Look at those stupid people,
they build this huge & expensive airport
but with such a short runaway...",
"I know" answers Banta, "But look how wide they made it...."

Santa : Aisi ki taisi kab hoti hai?
Banta: Jab loose motion lage ho aur
pajaame ki gaanth hi na khule.

Smartest thing santa ever did.
He changed his paswords to incorrect.
So whenever he forgets,
the computer will remind him,
'ur pasword is incorrect'

Captain of military: Naujawaan, aage badho.
Ek sardaar aage nahi badhta.
Captain: Tum aage kyon nahi badhaa, jawaan.
Sardaar: Aapne kaha 9 jawaan aage badho,
main 10ve number per hun.

Do bhoot galaan kar rahe si.
Pehla bhoot: Yaar tu kadi sardaar dekhe ne?
Doosra bhoot: Sardaar-sardoor kuch ni hunde,
sab mann da vehm hai, dari na.

Santa was brought to court on charges of drunken driving.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.

The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted,
“Order! Order!”

Santa responded immediately,
“Thank you , your honour! I’ll have a scotch and soda.”