First Guy (proudly): "My Wife's An Angel!" Second Guy: "You're Quotes

First guy (proudly): "My wife 's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep .

A man was complaining to a friend : "I had it all -
money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a
beautiful woman -then, BAM!, it was all gone!"
"What happened?" asked his friend .
"My wife found out..."

Husband messages Wife : Hi, what are you doing, darling?
Wife : I am dying.
Husband (very happily): Oh my dear! How can i live without you?
Wife : You Idiot, I am dying my hair.

Getting married is very much like
going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want,
then when you see what the other fellow has,
you wish you had ordered that.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.
The rest cheat in Europe.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have;
the older she gets the more interested he is in her.