SnowPoint: Doctor, which soap you use..??
Santa : Gopal soap, Gopal paste, Gopal brush..
SnowPoint: Doctor, is Gopal an International Company..??
Santa : No, Gopal is my room-mate.

00

English

As pilots, Santa and Banta were trying to land an airplane.
They start descending and as they touch the ground Santa screamed:
"Get the airplane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...

They make a big turn and start descending again.
The moment they touch the ground, Santa screamed again
"Get the plane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...

They make a big turn and start descending again...
This goes on again and again...

During their fourth descent Santa says:
"Look at those stupid people,
they build this huge & expensive airport
but with such a short runaway...",
"I know" answers Banta, "But look how wide they made it...."

10

English |

Teacher told all students in a class
to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except Santa .
He wrote: No match, due to rain.

00

English |

Judge to Santa : tum 3rd time adalat main aa rahe ho.
Tumhe sharam nahi aati..?
Santa : janab tusi ta roz hi aande ho
tuhanu ta dubb ke mar jana chaida hai.

00

Punjabi

Teacher: You know, you can't sleep in my class.
Santa : I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could..

00

English |

Santa : Jab me chota tha to ek baar kutub minaar se gir gaya tha.
Banta: Acha!! to mar gya ya bach gya.
Santa : Saale.! mujhe kya pata, me to chota tha...

20

Hindi |

Driver: Sir, which way to turn, left or right?
Santa : Jaha se tyre puncture ho jaaye ya gaadi kharaab ho jaaye.
Driver: Kya keh rahe ho sir..?
Santa : Haan, tabhi to main paise kam doonga.

02

Hindi |

Satna: Ek bar mere upar se scooter nikal gaya,
par fir bhi mujhe kuch nahi hua.
Banta: Yeh to kuch bhi nahi.
Ek bar mere upar se aeroplane nikal gaya,
aur main fir bhi bach gaya.

- Hemant Singh

30

Hindi |

एक बार संता अपनी पत्नी जीतो के साथ कॉफी पीने जाता है और
दो हॉट कॉफी ऑर्डर करता है,
कुछ देर बाद जैसे ही वेटर कॉफी लेकर आता है तो संता, जीतो से कहता है:
संता: ओ जीतो जल्दी-जल्दी कॉफी पी ले अगर ठण्डी हो गई तो फ़ालतू में ज्यादा पैसे देने पड़ेंगे!
जीतो: क्यों क्या हुआ? मुंह जलवाने से तो अच्छा है कि, यह थोड़ी ठंडी हो जाए उसके बाद पिएं!
संता: पागल तूने इनकी रेट लिस्ट नहीं देखी, हॉट कॉफी 15 रुपए और कोल्ड कॉफ़ी 45 रुपए की है!

- Hemant Singh
22

Hindi |

Santa (ladki ko chedte hue):
Hor sohneyo, ki haal aa..??
Ladki (Gusse mein)
Jo teri bhen da.
Santa : Woh to pregnant hai..

10

Punjabi

Government promised jiske 5 bachche hain oose ghar degi.
Santa ke 3, usne Wife se kaha: Padosan ke 2 bhi mere hain,
unko lata hun.
Lane ke baad:
Santa : Apne 3 kaha gaye?
Wife : Jinke the woh le gaye.

00

Hindi

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