Convent School Ke Bache Zoo Me: Oh!! Wow Monkey Is Sleeping Quotes

Convent school ke bache zoo me:
Oh!! wow monkey is sleeping don't distub..
Govt. school ke bache:
OYE OH VEKH TERA Peo SUTA AE..LYA VATTA MARIYE..

A kid went late for school.
Teacher : Why are you late ?
Kid : Madam, my parents were fighting.
Teacher: So what If they were fighting,
still you could have come on time.
Kid : Actually, my one shoe had been taken by dad and other by mom.

चाटी क्यों अम्मा चुम्बक तू
इक दिल्ली गयो दूजा टिम्बकटू ..

Details:
These lines are taken from Hotstar VIVO IPL 2019 campaign advertisement. Quite funny and creative #KoiYaarNahiFar..

A punjabi lady talking in English to a Dr. about her sick child.

"My kaka is ill ek week da.
Na eat da na sleep da,
bas weep da te cheek da,
nalay nak v leak da."

A man in US saw a dog about to bite a lady.
He kicks the dog & the dog dies.
Newspaper reports - Brave US citizen saves lady from dog.
Man told newspapers that he is not a US citizen,
so report changed - Foreigner saves lady from dog.
Man told that he hails from Pakistan.
Report got changed - Terrorist attacked local dog.

A baniya boy on date with his girlfrnd.
On coming back home,
His dad: Kitne rupye kharche?
Son: 500
Dad: (angrily) 500?
Son: Haa! wo itne hi leke aayi thi.

Harbhajan Singh started bhangra
on the score of 33.
Sachin: Why are you dancing..
it's not a 50 or 100 yet..?
Bhajji: Only a punjab board student
can understand the value of 33!