20Teacher: How many planets are there?
Santa : Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, ...wagerah...wagerah...
Teacher: Aur batao?
Santa : Aur bas sab badhiya! Mata rani ki kirpa hai. Aap sunao.
Hindi
30A sardaar prays daily for two hours:
Hey Waheguru, meri lottery lagaa davo.
After 11 years Waheguru angrily appears and says:
Oye Khoteyaa, ik vaari ticket taan lae..
Punjabi
00Santa dials a number and a girl receives his call-
Santa : Who's this?
Girl: Main Sita.
Santa : Navaa seaapaa, main taan ludhiyaane keeta si,
eh taan ayodhya mil gayaa.
Hindi
20A Chinese was in a hospital.
Santa went to meet him.
Chinese said CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA & died.
Santa went china to know the meaning, that was:
You are standing on the Oxygen pipe..
English |
00Santa kudi nu: Ki tu meri valentine banengi..?
Kudi: Eh jutti vekhi hai..?
Santa : Marjaaniye, main Romeo-Juliet banaan nu firdaa,
sittu mochi di daastaan nahi.
Punjabi |
10Santa opens the door of his car,
when suddenly another car came along
and hit the door,
ripping it off completely.
Santa to Police Officer: Look what they've done to my Car! He whined.
"You are so materialistic, you make me sick!", retorted the officer.
"You're so worried about your car,
that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"
"Oh no!", replied Santa ,
finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was.
"Where's my Rolex..?!"
English |
00Banta - What is pin-drop darkness?
Santa - If you drop a pin and can't find it
then it is pin-drop drakness..
English |
31Santa : Bhaisaab, kya time hua hai??
A man: 10:30
Santa : Saalaa subha se pooch rahaa hun,
sab alag alag time bataa rahe hain..
Hindi
00Santa proposed a girl.......
Girl: I am one year elder to u.
Santa : Oye, no problem sohniye, I will marry u next year.
English
20Santa mango juice ka glass le k baitha tha.
Banta aaya aur fataak se juice pi gya.
Santa : Meri to yar kismat hi kharaab hai.
Banta: Kyon, kya hua?
Beta fail ho gya.
Biwi dost k saath bhag gyi,
Ghar mein chori ho gye,
Nal mein pani nahi,
Ghar mein light nahi,
Ab juice me Zehar daal k peene ko rakha tha,
aur WO BHI TU PI gaya.
Hindi
10Santa : Ye bata ki duniya me kitne desh hai?
Banta: Kar di na paaglon waali baat,
duniya me ek hi desh hai INDIA,
baaki sab to Videsh hain..!!
Hindi |
00Santa ki biwi Behosh Ho Gayi.
Doctor: Ye Mar gayi Hai.
Jab Usko Jalane Lage to Wo Boli: Main Zinda Hu.
Santa : Chup-chap Padi Reh gawar,
tu Doctor Se Zyada Janti hai kya.
Hindi |
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