LKG ke kid ka paper me zero aaya.

Angry Father: What is this?

Kid: Papa, teacher ke pass Star khatam ho gaye, to Moon de diya.

- Hemant Singh
50

Hindi |

funny.jpg

Why India is not yet developed?
Though population is 100 crore?
Because 7.9 crore are retired,
30 crore in state government jobs,
17 crore in central government jobs
(Both don't work efficiently).
1.1 crore IT professional
(They don't work for India).
25 crore in school,
2 crore under 5 years,
15 crore unemployed,
1.2 crore you can find anytime in hospitals.
Statistics say 79,99,997 people are in jail.
Rest two are you and me.
You are busy with your mobile .
How can i handle India alone..?

10

English

Umma.. umma.. umma.. umma.. umma..
Ummmmmmaaaaaaaaa.. ummaa.. umma..
How do u feel?
This is the cry of a muslim girl
when she felt hungry..

3636

Malayalam

Two astrophysicists are discussing their research in a bar one evening
when a drunk who has been sitting and listening in at the next seat
turns and says, in a very worried voice,
"What was that you just said!!??"

"We were discussing stellar evolution, and I said to my colleague here
that the Sun would run out of nuclear fuel and turn into a red giant
star in about 5 billion years, possibly melting the Earth."

"Whew!!," says the drunk,
"You really had me worried. I thought you said 5 million."

00

English |

Valentines Special

GF = Where R u.?
BF = I'm At "Bank"

GF = I Need 10,000 For New Cell Phone & 5,000 For New Dress.

BF = Sorry, I Mean I'm At BL00D BANK

"KHOON PIYEGI KHOON":p:D

- Tarun Goma
42

Hindi |

Raah chalte agar koi ladki aapko bhai bol de, to
?
?
simple use zor se ek chanta maro,
aur bolo
"Yahan kahan ghoom rahi hai..?
Chal ghar.."

40

Hindi |

Why are doctors prescriptions impossible to read??
Because they all have an exclusive message only for the chemist.
"Maine to is patient ko loot liya, ab teri baari!!"

20

Hindi

Anaath Ashram Manager to Bania:
Sethji, aap hamare anaath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?

Funny Bania: Mein anaath ashram mein apne Char bachhe bhej sakta hu.

- Hemant Singh

70

Hindi |

A famous inspirational speaker said -
'Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !'
Audience was in shock and silence.
He added -
'She was my mother.'
Applause & Laughter.
A top manager tried to crack this at home.
After a drink he said loudly to his wife , in kitchen -
'Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !'
Standing for a moment
trying to recall the second half, he finally blurted out -
'I can't remember .'

10

English

एक बार एक लड़का अपनी गर्लफ्रेंड के साथ बगीचे में बैठा बातें कर रहा होता है
लड़का: जानू, आज मौसम कितना सुहाना है ना?
लड़की: हाँ!
लड़का : तो इस सुहाने मौसम में कोई ऐसी बात करो ना जिसे सुन कर मेरे दिल की धड़कन तेज हो जाए!
लड़की (अचानक): अबे भाग नहीं तो आज तू पिटेगा मेरा बाप और भाई इधर ही आ रहे हैं!

- Hemant Singh

35

Hindi |

Jab koi itna khas ban jaye
uske baare mein sochna ehsas ban jaye
to maang lena khuda se use zindagi bhar ke liye
isse pehle ki uski MAA kisi aur ki SAAS ban jaye..

- Rd
40

Hindi |

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