Physics would have been much, much easier
.
.
.
.
if
.
.
.
.
.
if
.
.
.
.
.
.
the tree itself had fallen on Newton's head instead of the apple!

11

English |

funny.jpg

LKG ke kid ka paper me zero aaya.

Angry Father: What is this?

Kid: Papa, teacher ke pass Star khatam ho gaye, to Moon de diya.

- Hemant Singh
50

Hindi |

At Traffic Signal Boy Friend to Girl Friend :
Jaan main tumhari aankhon main sara jahan dekh sakta hu.
Pass me ek ladka without helmet khada tha.
Yeh sunte hi bola: Bhai sahab, mujhe sirf itna bata do ki
Aage chaurahe par Helmet ki checking ho rahi hai ya nahi..

- Hemant Singh

31

Hindi |

Ek aadmi kabr par baitha tha.
Musaafir ne poocha darr nahi lagtaa..?
Aadmi: Darne ki kya baat hai..?
Ander garmi lag rahi thi..to baahar aa gaya.

10

Hindi

If children's prayer had any effect,
there wouldn't be a single teacher alive.

20

English |

Inerviewer: What is recession?
Candidate: When 'Wine & Women' get replaced by
'Water & Wife ' that critical phase of life is called recession.

20

English

Indian soldiers captured a Pakistani..
They gave him a dice and said:
If you will get 1,2,3,4,5 we will kill you.
Pakistani asked- 6 aaya to..?
Indian- Ludo nahi khela kya..?
Dubaara baari.

12

Hindi

Pakistan to India:
"Trust us, we are taking as strong steps against terrorism
as you are taking against corruption !!"

00

English |

Ek poet garibi se tang aa kar daku ban gaya.
Daketi karne ek bank gaya aur kaha:
Arz hai..
Taqdeer mein jo hai wahi milega
Hands-Up, koi apni jagah se nahi hilega..
Fir cashier se kaha..
Kuch khwaab meri aankhon se nikaal do
jo kuch bhi tumhaare paas hai jaldi se is bag mein daal do..
Bahut koshish karta hun teri yaad bhulaane ki
koi koshish na kare police ko bulaane ki..
Bhula de mujhko kya jaata hai tera
main goli maar doonga jo kisi ne peecha kiya mera..

66

Hindi

Teacher to Banta: Tell me five animals living in water?
Banta: Frog.
Teacher: Theek hai, hor das?
Banta: Frog da peo, ohdi maa, behen te wotti..

103

Punjabi

Judge: Sach-sach batao tumne apni biwi per haath kyun uthaaya..?
Mulzim: 3 baaton ki wajah se
1. Uska chehra meri taraf nahi tha
2. Uske haath mein belan nahi tha
3. Aur sabse badi wajah,
mere bhaagne ke liye darwaaza khula tha..

00

Hindi |

Lucknow me 2 bache ladh rahe the.
1st : Dekhiye ager aap humari baat nahi manenge
to hum aapki walida mohtarma ki shaan me
gustakhana Kalimat pesh kar denge.
2nd: Huzur phir hum bhi aapke
rukhsaar mubarak pe aisa tamacha raseed karenge ki
gaal mubarak gulab ki maanind chamak uthega.

10

Urdu

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