If Each Day Is A Gift, I Would Like To Know Quotes

If each day is a gift,
I would like to know where I can return mondays..

Doctor (at door, to butler): Tell your master the doctor is here.
Butler: The master is in great pain, sir. He is receiving nobody.

Hum gaye unki gali mein,
bole dil se dil laga lo,
jab dekha uski mummy ko to bole..
Joote, chappal theek kara lo.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

Passenger: Will this bus take me to New Delhi?
Driver: Which part..?
Passenger: All of me, of course..!

Ek aurat ne 5 Saal ke Bache ko
Cigaret Pite Dekha to bache se Kaha:
Kya tumhare Parents ko Malum hai ki Tum smoke krte ho?
BACHCHA(Dhuwa Chhodte hue):
Mohtarma..!!
Kya aap ke shohar ko maloom hai
ki aap ek gair mard se baate kar rahi hain?

A baniya boy on date with his girlfrnd.
On coming back home,
His dad: Kitne rupye kharche?
Son: 500
Dad: (angrily) 500?
Son: Haa! wo itne hi leke aayi thi.