A Scholar Was Lecturing When All The Lights In The Quotes

A scholar was lecturing when all the lights in the auditorium went out.
He asked members of the audience to raise their hands.
As soon as they had all complied, the lights went on again.
He then said,
"Prove wisdom of Old Chinese saying: 'Many hands make light work."

रोज़गार है तो सोमवार है,
वर्ना सातों दिन रविवार हैं..

Age of Drinks:
1 to 3: Milk
3 to 8: Cerelac
9 to 13: Horlicks
14 to 25: Beer
26 to 40: Old Monk
41 to 60: Tonic
After 60: Anytime "Gangajal"

Raah chalte agar koi ladki aapko bhai bol de, to
?
?
simple use zor se ek chanta maro,
aur bolo
"Yahan kahan ghoom rahi hai..?
Chal ghar.."

Convent school ke bache zoo me:
Oh!! wow monkey is sleeping don't distub..
Govt. school ke bache:
OYE OH VEKH TERA Peo SUTA AE..LYA VATTA MARIYE..

Here's good news for bald heads.
They say, " God made perfect heads".
Those that were not - He covered them with hair.

Couple silent in bed.
Wife thinks:
Why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman ?
Does he like someone else?
Is he seeing someone?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight?
Does my make up repel him these days.
Is he upset with my nagging?
WHY IS HE UPSET?

Husband thinking: Damnit man, Dhoni se kuch nahi ho Sakta, aur yeh Gautam gambhir..