00Police caught Santa and Banta for drinking in public place.
Inspector to Banta: Where do you live.?
Banta: I have no fixed address.
Inspector to Santa : And, where do you live.?
Santa : I live in the flat above Banta.
English |
00Banta: Kya hua Santa , chup kyun hai..?
Santa : Aaj mere dost ka Happy Birthday hai aur
mujhe sms bhejna hai.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai,
fir tu udaas kyun hai..?
Kya mobile mein balance nahi hai..?
Santa : Mere paas mobile nahi hai.
Hindi |
01Santa : Yaar Banta, hum dono mein kya rishta hai?
Banta: Jo Gobar aur Uple mein hai.
Santa : Woh kaise?
Banta: Jab Gobar Santa hai, tabhi to Upla Banta hai.
Hindi
10Santa Park me Baita tha.
Friend : Kya kar raha hai?
Santa : Badla le Raha hu.
Friend : Kisse?
Santa : Waqt ne Muje Barbad kiya hai,
ab mai Waqt ko barbad kar raha hu..
Hindi
00Santa standing on a platform, suddenly jumps on railway track.
A man shouts Sardaarji mar jaaoge.
Santa : Maregaa to tu saale,
suna nahin train platform no. 1 par aa rahi hai.
Hindi
20Santa goes to a Police station & says,
"Mujhe phone per dhamkiyaan mil rahi hain."
Police : Kaun phone karta hai?
Santa : Phone company waale bolte hain BILL na diya to KAAT denge.....
Hindi
10Santa got a new job:
1st day he worked till evening .
Boss was happy and asked what u did till evening ?
Santa : Keyboard alphabets were not in right order,
i made it correct.....
English
20Captain of military: Naujawaan, aage badho.
Ek sardaar aage nahi badhta.
Captain: Tum aage kyon nahi badhaa, jawaan.
Sardaar: Aapne kaha 9 jawaan aage badho,
main 10ve number per hun.
Hindi
01Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..
Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.
Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.
Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.
English |
00Santa raat ko machardaani laga kar so raha tha,
Achanak ek jugnoo aa gaya..
Santa : Lo ye machar humko
Torch le kar dhoondh raha hai.
Hindi |
00"Did your late employer give you a testimonial..?", Interviewer asked.
Santa : "Yes, Sir. But the way employers look at it when I apply for a job
make one think there's something wrong with it."
Interviewer: "What does it say, then?"
Santa : "Why, he said I was one of the best men his firm had ever turned out."
English |
20A Chinese was in a hospital.
Santa went to meet him.
Chinese said CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA & died.
Santa went china to know the meaning, that was:
You are standing on the Oxygen pipe..
English |
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