A Policeman Stops A Lady And Asks For Her License. He Quotes

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license.
He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
Policeman: "I don't care who you know! You're getting fined!"

मैं गया उसकी गली में
बोला दिल से दिल लगा लो
जब देखा उसकी मम्मी को
तो बोला जूते - चप्पल ठीक करा लो ..

Main gaya uski gali mein
bola dil se dil laga lo
jab dekha uski mummy ko
to bola joote-chappal theek kara lo..

Father to son: Whenever i beat you,
you don't get annoyed, how you control your anger..?
Son: I start cleaning the toilet seat with your toothbrush.

Two hikers were walking through the woods when
they stumble upon a bear.
They immediately take off running, and
the first hiker says to the other:
Do you think we can actually outrun this bear?
The second hiker replies:
I don't have to outrun the bear,
I only have to outrun you..

Ladki ek aisi paheli hai,
kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai,
kharchaa karo to bole- Darling, I love u..
na karo to bole- Bhaiya, who r u..?

Ek ladka - larki hotel main gaye
Waiter: Kya loge?
Larki: Sabjiyo wali gujiya.
Waiter: What ?
Ladka: Yeh momos mang rahi hai.

If doctors start making films
titles wud be:
kabhi funsi..kabhi jakham
hum blood de chuke sanam
maine mbbs kyon kiya
ab tumhaare hawaale operation saathiyon
humaara stethoscope aapke paas hai
mujhe kuch kaatna hai
kaho na bukhaar hai
appendix mil gaya
kal patient ho na ho.