Judge: Sach-sach Batao Tumne Apni Biwi Per Haath Kyun Uthaaya..? Mulzim: Quotes

Judge: Sach-sach batao tumne apni biwi per haath kyun uthaaya..?
Mulzim: 3 baaton ki wajah se
1. Uska chehra meri taraf nahi tha
2. Uske haath mein belan nahi tha
3. Aur sabse badi wajah,
mere bhaagne ke liye darwaaza khula tha..

Couple silent in bed.
Wife thinks:
Why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman ?
Does he like someone else?
Is he seeing someone?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight?
Does my make up repel him these days.
Is he upset with my nagging?
WHY IS HE UPSET?

Husband thinking: Damnit man, Dhoni se kuch nahi ho Sakta, aur yeh Gautam gambhir..

मैं गया उसकी गली में
बोला दिल से दिल लगा लो
जब देखा उसकी मम्मी को
तो बोला जूते - चप्पल ठीक करा लो ..

Main gaya uski gali mein
bola dil se dil laga lo
jab dekha uski mummy ko
to bola joote-chappal theek kara lo..

Maine poocha chand se ke dekha hai khain
mere yaar sa hasin
chaand ne kaha abey paagal
itni unchaai se kuch dikhaai deta hai kya..

Rice is great if you're really hungry and
want to eat two thousand of something.

Agar aap kahin jaldi mein jaa rahe hain
aur Kaali Billi aapke aage se guzar jaaye
to iska matlab
Kaali Billi aap se zyaada jaldi mein hai..

Some pain is physical and some is mental,
but one that's both is dental.