It's Always Darkest Before Dawn. So If You're Going To Steal Quotes

It's always darkest before dawn.
So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it..

Teacher to Banta: Tell me five animals living in water?
Banta: Frog.
Teacher: Theek hai, hor das?
Banta: Frog da peo, ohdi maa, behen te wotti..

A man gave advt. in matrimonial column:
"PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got several replies saying:
"MERI LE JAA"

रोक दो मेरे जनाज़े को
मैंने कहा रोक दो मेरे जनाज़े को
कि मुझमें जान आ गई है
पीछे मुड़कर देखो यारों
दारु की दुकान आ गई है ..

Rok do mere janaaze ko
maine kaha rok do mere janaaze ko
ki mujh mein jaan aa gayi hai
peeche mud kar dekho yaaron
daaru ki dukaan aa gayi hai..

In court Judge to Lady:
You are really very brave, Daaku ko bahut maara tumNe.
Lady: Mujhe kya pata daaku tha,
main samjhi mere pati ghar dair se aaye hain.

Camera-man studio mein ek chote bachche se:
Meri taraf dekho beta, is camera se ek kabootar niklega.
Bachcha: Focus adjust kar, gawaaron waali batein naa kar.
Facebook per lagaani hai.

Father to son: Sharmaji ki ladki ko dekha hai,
woh exam mein first aai hai.
Son: Usi ko to dekhta tha,
tabhi to fail ho gaya.