Father to son: Sharmaji ki ladki ko dekha hai,
woh exam mein first aai hai.
Son: Usi ko to dekhta tha,
tabhi to fail ho gaya.

195

Hindi

jokes.jpg

Doctor paagal se: Yeh chithi tum kise likh rahe ho..?
Paagal: Apne aap ko.
Doctor: Achcha isme kya likha hai.
Paagal: Maalum nahi.
Doctor: Kyu..?
Paagal: Abhi mujhe mili kahaan hai..!

113

Hindi

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license.
He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
Policeman: "I don't care who you know! You're getting fined!"

11

English |

Customer: Waiter, do you serve pigs..?
Waiter: Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

31

English |

A man gave advt. in matrimonial column:
"PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got several replies saying:
"MERI LE JAA"

52

Hindi

Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat.
The government hates competition..

- Vidhi
21

English |

Teacher to Banta: Tell me five animals living in water?
Banta: Frog.
Teacher: Theek hai, hor das?
Banta: Frog da peo, ohdi maa, behen te wotti..

113

Punjabi

Policeman: Sir, how did you come to have this accident?
Motorist: Well, the sign just there says, Stop? Look? Listen . and
while i was doing that
the train hit me.

20

English

A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.
"What's the matter?" he was asked.
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right."
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor.

00

English |

A very wealthy old man was dying and summoned his lawyer, his Priest, and his Doctor.
As his final and last wish, he gave each 2,50,000 in cash. He said he wanted to prove that you "could" take it with you when you die. He requested that each one of them throw the cash in his grave just before they shoveled the dirt in.

A few days later at the funeral the Priest walked up to the grave after the Eulogy and with tears in his eyes , tossed the money into the grave. Shortly after, the Doctor also did the same. Last the lawyer came and tossed in an envelope.

At the family gathering, or wake if you will, the Priest walked up to the Doctor and the lawyer and said, "I must confess, I kept out 25,000 of his money for the orphanage". With that the Doctor also confided that he too kept out 50,000 for the new Medical Clinic for the poor. The lawyer then exclaimed, "Shame, shame on you both!, I gave him a check for the entire amount!"

21

English |

Sheher ki gali mein paan ki dukan
Devdas ne dekhi Paro ki muskan
Devdas ne khilaya Paro ko paan
Khaa ke paan Paro boli "Shukriya Bhaijaan"..

70

Hindi |

What is attitude ..?
Three ants saw an elephant coming.
1st ant - We'll kill him.
2nd ant - We'll break his legs.
3rd ant - Leave him dude, he's alone,
and we r three.. that won't be fair.

120

English

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