196Father to son: Sharmaji ki ladki ko dekha hai,
woh exam mein first aai hai.
Son: Usi ko to dekhta tha,
tabhi to fail ho gaya.
Hindi
03I'll admit that the Chinese kids
in math class are pretty smart
but doing it with their eyes closed
that's a bit tricky..
English |
70Sheher ki gali mein paan ki dukan
Devdas ne dekhi Paro ki muskan
Devdas ne khilaya Paro ko paan
Khaa ke paan Paro boli "Shukriya Bhaijaan"..
Hindi |
152Life mein chaahe kitne bhi dukh mile, ghum mile,
apne aansu beh jaane dena, unhe rokna mat kyonki..
ruke hue paani mein hi Malaria wale machchar ande dete hain.
Hindi
83Engg. Student: Sir humne aisi cheez banayi hai jisse hum
- Vikas Umrao
deewar ke us paar bhi dekh sakte hain.....
Sir: Wow, fantastic! Kya hai woh?
Student:
Suraakh.......
Hindi |
134Na jaane woh humse kya chupaati thi,
kuch tha uske honto pe magar na jaane kyon sharmaati thi,
jab humne muh khulwaa ke dekha..
to pataa chalaa..
woh to gutkha khaati thi!!
Hindi
130What is attitude ..?
Three ants saw an elephant coming.
1st ant - We'll kill him.
2nd ant - We'll break his legs.
3rd ant - Leave him dude, he's alone,
and we r three.. that won't be fair.
English
21A very wealthy old man was dying and summoned his lawyer, his Priest, and his Doctor.
As his final and last wish, he gave each 2,50,000 in cash. He said he wanted to prove that you "could" take it with you when you die. He requested that each one of them throw the cash in his grave just before they shoveled the dirt in.
A few days later at the funeral the Priest walked up to the grave after the Eulogy and with tears in his eyes , tossed the money into the grave. Shortly after, the Doctor also did the same. Last the lawyer came and tossed in an envelope.
At the family gathering, or wake if you will, the Priest walked up to the Doctor and the lawyer and said, "I must confess, I kept out 25,000 of his money for the orphanage". With that the Doctor also confided that he too kept out 50,000 for the new Medical Clinic for the poor. The lawyer then exclaimed, "Shame, shame on you both!, I gave him a check for the entire amount!"
English |
72Dhirubhai calling from heaven ..
Beta mukesh apna reliance INDIA moblie kaisa chal raha hai..?
Mukesh: Papa, kuch sunaai nahi de rahaa hai,
aap mere Idea waale number per call karo.
Hindi
14Pathan - Moulvi sahab, wazu ke baghair namaz ho jaati hai?
Moulvi - Nahi hoti.
Pathan - Ho jaati hai.
Moulvi - Bhai, nahi hoti.
Pathan - Ho jaati hai, maine khud padh kar dekhi hai..
Hindi |
01A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martin us.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies,
"If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"Details:
Most words that end in "us" are pluralized by changing the "us" to "i"
(e.g. cactus - cacti, genius - genii, Stimulus - stimuli) and most of those words have Latin roots. So the Latin scholar thinks of "martini" as being plural, so he singularises it by calling it a "martinus".
English |
24Two hikers were walking through the woods when
they stumble upon a bear.
They immediately take off running, and
the first hiker says to the other:
Do you think we can actually outrun this bear?
The second hiker replies:
I don't have to outrun the bear,
I only have to outrun you..
English |
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