11Ram-leela se hanumaan tha fraar,
role ke liye fit kiya ek Sardaar,
tha bahut hi kamaal,
ped se chalaang lagaa kar bola..
Jo bole so nihaal.....
Sita Mata, Sat Shri Akaal!!
Hindi
22एक बार संता अपनी पत्नी जीतो के साथ कॉफी पीने जाता है और
- Hemant Singh
दो हॉट कॉफी ऑर्डर करता है,
कुछ देर बाद जैसे ही वेटर कॉफी लेकर आता है तो संता, जीतो से कहता है:
संता: ओ जीतो जल्दी-जल्दी कॉफी पी ले अगर ठण्डी हो गई तो फ़ालतू में ज्यादा पैसे देने पड़ेंगे!
जीतो: क्यों क्या हुआ? मुंह जलवाने से तो अच्छा है कि, यह थोड़ी ठंडी हो जाए उसके बाद पिएं!
संता: पागल तूने इनकी रेट लिस्ट नहीं देखी, हॉट कॉफी 15 रुपए और कोल्ड कॉफ़ी 45 रुपए की है!
Hindi |
20Teacher: If I give you two rabbits, and two rabbits and two more rabbits then
how many rabbits you will be having..?
Santa : Seven.
Teacher: Oh! Listen carefully.
If I give you two rabbits, and two rabbits and two more rabbits then
how many rabbits you will be having..?
Santa : Seven.
Teacher: Ok. Let me ask you
If I give you two chocolates, and two chocolates and two more chocolates then
how many chocolates you will be having..?
Santa : Six.
Teacher: Good. Now tell me
If I give you two rabbits, and two rabbits and two more rabbits then
how many rabbits you will be having..?
Santa : Seven.
Teacher: How is that..?
Santa : I am already having one at home.
English |
10Teacher: Jo mere agle sawal ka jawab dega, wo ghar ja sakta hai.
Tabhi Santa apna bag bahar fek deta hai.
Teacher: Woh bag kisne feka?
Santa : Maine!
Ab main ghar jaa raha hu.
Hindi |
00Santa went to doctor to loose weight.
Doctor: If you will run eight kilometers a day for 300 days, you will loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days,
Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
Santa : I'm 2400 kms from home..
English |
113Santa saw a beautiful girl,
he went and kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what are you doing..?"
Santa : B.Com final year.
English |
00A kid asked Santa : Are you Punjabi?
Santa (proudly) : Yes.
Santa : But how do you know?
Kid : You are wearing a Kada.
Santa asks the kid : Are you Punjabi too?
Kid : Yes.
Santa : Do you drink Lassi daily?
Kid : No
Santa : Sorry, but then you are not a Punjabi.
Kid : Oh, I am Haryanvi.
Santa : Do you eat Ghee daily?
Kid : Yes
Santa (happily) : Yes, then you are Haryanvi..
English |
01Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..
Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.
Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.
Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.
English |
11Santa sookhe taalaab mein boat chala raha tha.
Banta: Aise logo ne hi humaara naam kharaab kar rakha hai,
agar mujhe tairna aata to wahi jaa kar maarta saale ko..
Hindi
20Santa Junior: Mummy, kal raati jado main
bathroom da darwaaja kholeyaa te light aape hi jag pai.
Mummy: Oye Khoteyaa, tu fer fridge wich susu kar ditta..
Punjabi
00Santa : Aisi ki taisi kab hoti hai?
Banta: Jab loose motion lage ho aur
pajaame ki gaanth hi na khule.
Hindi
20Santa : Jab me chota tha to ek baar kutub minaar se gir gaya tha.
Banta: Acha!! to mar gya ya bach gya.
Santa : Saale.! mujhe kya pata, me to chota tha...
Hindi |
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