Santa ne apni nayi girlfriend k
kandhe pe 1st time hath rakha aur
bahut dhire se nervously bola: "I love u"
Girlfriend-"zor se Bolo''
Santa -"JAI MATA DI"

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Hindi

Santa apni girlfriend ko i love u kehta hai,
aur gir jaata hai.
Gf: Yeh kya kar rahe ho..?
Santa : I am falling in love ..

10

Hindi

Ik vaar Santa apne yaar de viah te
jaa ke naan zyaada khaa lenda hai,
te ghar aa ke badaa aukhaa hundaa hai
te flush wich beh ke kehndaa hai:
Rabba, ya Jaan kadh leh,
ya fer Naan kadh leh..

10

Punjabi

Santa ki wife kidnap ho gayi.
Kidnapper ne finger ka tukda bheja aur paise mange.
Santa : Ungali to kisi ki bhi ho sakti hai, Mundi bhej Mundi....

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Hindi |

Driver: Sir, petrol khatam ho gaya hai, gaadi aage nahi jaa sakti.
Santa : Chalo phir waapis le chalo, ghar chalte hain.

00

Hindi |

Teacher: How many planets are there?
Santa : Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, ...wagerah...wagerah...
Teacher: Aur batao?
Santa : Aur bas sab badhiya! Mata rani ki kirpa hai. Aap sunao.

20

Hindi

Santa : Doctor saab mujhe chot lag gayi hai.
Doctor: Bahut gehri chot hai, taanke lagenge, 1000 Rs lagenge.
Santa : Bhutni dea, taanke laune ne, kadaai nahi karni..

00

Punjabi |

मंगल ग्रह पर पानी मिलने की खबर सुन कर
संता नासा फ़ोन करता है .
संता : ओ जी यह मंगल पर पानी मिल गया आपको ..?
नासा : यस
संता : ओ जी मुबारक हो जी..इक्क बोतल पानी चाहिदा सी
नासा : सॉरी , वी कांट गिव
संता : ओह ले ..इतना पैसा खर्चा करके
पानी भी ढून्ढ लित्ता है ते दे वी नहीं रहे
बन्दा धोने क्या मंगल पे जाएगा ..

Mangal greh par paani milne ki khabar sun kar
Santa NASA phone karta hai.
Santa : O ji yeh mangal par paani mil gaya aapko..?
NASA: Yes
Santa : O ji mubaarak ho ji..Ikk botal paani chaahida si
NASA: Sorry, we can't give.
Santa : Oh le..itna paisa kharchaa karke
paani bhi dhoond litta hai te de v nahi rahe
banda dhone kya mangal pe jaayega..

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Hindi |

Santa plane landing hote hi chillane laga..
Bangalore aaya..Bangalore aaya..balle balle!!
Airhostess: Excuse me sir, please be silent.
Santa : Ok, i am sorry,
Angalore aaya..angalore aaya..alle alle!!

10

Hindi

Santa was eating banana without peeling.
Someone asked why don't you peel and eat.
Santa : It's not required as i know what's inside.

10

English |

Santa opens the door of his car,
when suddenly another car came along
and hit the door,
ripping it off completely.
Santa to Police Officer: Look what they've done to my Car! He whined.

"You are so materialistic, you make me sick!", retorted the officer.
"You're so worried about your car,
that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"

"Oh no!", replied Santa ,
finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was.
"Where's my Rolex..?!"

10

English |

Teacher: Santa , You need to improve your handwriting.
Santa : Sir, actually Banta needs improvement.
He only completes my homework.

00

English |