Santa : Mere 4 beto me se 3 to engineer ban gaye,
Lekin kambakht ek DAAKU ban gaya.
Banta: To usko ghar se nikal do,
Santa : Yai to dikkat hai,
kama ke To sirf wahi lata hai.

01

Hindi

Muderer: Try karna umar-kaid ho, Faansi na ho.
Santa : Don't worry. Case poora apne haath mein hai.

After Court.

Muderer: Kya hua..?
Santa : Bahut mushkil se umar-kaid karwaai hai,
Adaalat to riha kar rahi thi.

22

Hindi |

Santa ki beti: Papa kal aapke ghar se ek member kam ho jaaega.
Next day Santa ki beti bhaag jaati hai.
Santa : Ladki ne kaam to galat kiya per
thi woh Jyotshi!

20

Hindi

Driver: Sir, which way to turn, left or right?
Santa : Jaha se tyre puncture ho jaaye ya gaadi kharaab ho jaaye.
Driver: Kya keh rahe ho sir..?
Santa : Haan, tabhi to main paise kam doonga.

02

Hindi |

Milkman: Are you sure you want 50 litres of milk?
Santa : Yes, my doctor told me to take a bath of milk.
Milkman: Would you like it pasteurized?
Santa : No, just up to my neck please.

00

English |

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes.
He got irritated..
drank poison and said
Now bite, u'll die bastards..

00

English

Santa : "I LOVE YOU" ka matlab kya hota hai ?
Preeto: Main tumse pyar karti hu.
Santa : Lo kar lo baat.. Angreji me ek sawaal kya puchh liya
Tum to Fida ho gayi.

- Hemant Singh

3310

Hindi |

एक बार संता अपनी पत्नी जीतो के साथ कॉफी पीने जाता है और
दो हॉट कॉफी ऑर्डर करता है,
कुछ देर बाद जैसे ही वेटर कॉफी लेकर आता है तो संता, जीतो से कहता है:
संता: ओ जीतो जल्दी-जल्दी कॉफी पी ले अगर ठण्डी हो गई तो फ़ालतू में ज्यादा पैसे देने पड़ेंगे!
जीतो: क्यों क्या हुआ? मुंह जलवाने से तो अच्छा है कि, यह थोड़ी ठंडी हो जाए उसके बाद पिएं!
संता: पागल तूने इनकी रेट लिस्ट नहीं देखी, हॉट कॉफी 15 रुपए और कोल्ड कॉफ़ी 45 रुपए की है!

- Hemant Singh
21

Hindi |

Santa to nauker: Ped-podho ko paani daal de.
Nauker: Saabji, baahar to baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa : Abey paagal, to chattri le ke daal de!

01

Hindi

The bank sends Santa a mail - Your payments are outstanding.
Santa replies - Thanks for the compliment.

00

English |

Aurato se Bhari bus ka Accident ho gaya.
Sari Ladies mar gayi.
Sbke pati 1-1 ghante roye
santa akela pura din Roya..
Q.??

Kyonki uski patni ki Bus Chhoot gyi thi
No jokes pls.
Aaj santa serious hai.

10

Hindi |

Santa joined Army, given ak-47, puzzeled Santa asks Major,
"Sir, is bandook ki nali saamne rakhun ya ulta?"
Major: Kisi bhi tarah rakho, faayedaa desh ka hi hoga.

00

Hindi