Ye Mera New No. Hai - 9953723352.

Plz save kar lena..
Or Haan ek baat suno...
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Maze ki baat to dekho purana bhi yahi hai..

- Vikas Umrao
81

Hindi |

jokes.jpg

Sheher ki gali mein paan ki dukan
Devdas ne dekhi Paro ki muskan
Devdas ne khilaya Paro ko paan
Khaa ke paan Paro boli "Shukriya Bhaijaan"..

70

Hindi |

Customer: Waiter, do you serve pigs..?
Waiter: Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

31

English |

Patient to Doctor:
Aapne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai,
uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gayaa.
Doctor: Jaanta hun..
thappad ki aawaaz mujhe bhi sunaai di thi..

91

Hindi

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license.
He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
Policeman: "I don't care who you know! You're getting fined!"

11

English |

Soldier: Sir, i want 1 week leave to go home.
Senior: I will give you one month leave if you will caught enemies tank.

After some time.
Soldier: Sir, i have caught the enemies tank, it is standing outside.
Senior (astonished): Great! How did you managed that.
Soldier: Sir, when enemies soldiers need leave
they also borrow tank from us.

32

English |

Funny Slogans
RTO - Donate blood, but not on road.
Forest Deptt. - Shoot birds with camera,
not with guns.
Kingfisher - Fly with us, not on plane,
but with Beer..

31

English |

A stranger to a child: Beta, itni chocolate khaoge to bimaar ho jaoge!
Bachcha: Mere dadaji 100 saal jiye thhe.....
Stranger: Vo chocolate khate thhe?
Bachcha: Nahi vo apne kaam se kaam rakhte thhe....

- Vidhi
121

Hindi |

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martin us.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies,
"If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

Details:
Most words that end in "us" are pluralized by changing the "us" to "i"
(e.g. cactus - cacti, genius - genii, Stimulus - stimuli) and most of those words have Latin roots. So the Latin scholar thinks of "martini" as being plural, so he singularises it by calling it a "martinus".

01

English |

If doctors start making films
titles wud be:
kabhi funsi..kabhi jakham
hum blood de chuke sanam
maine mbbs kyon kiya
ab tumhaare hawaale operation saathiyon
humaara stethoscope aapke paas hai
mujhe kuch kaatna hai
kaho na bukhaar hai
appendix mil gaya
kal patient ho na ho.

63

Hindi

Ek aadmi ki 6 ungaliyaan thi,
usse log hanuman bulaate the,
bataao kyon??
Kyonki
uska naam hanuman tha..!!

93

Hindi

Father to son: Sharmaji ki ladki ko dekha hai,
woh exam mein first aai hai.
Son: Usi ko to dekhta tha,
tabhi to fail ho gaya.

195

Hindi

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