00Jeeto: Kyon ji, tussi gaddi di speed kyon badhaa ditti..?
Santa : Break fail ho gayaa hai,
accident hon to pehlaan hi aapaa ghar pahunchna hai..
Punjabi
00Tintumon: Aaj kal TV mein channel bahut kharaab aa rahe hain.
Santa : Nahi to, humaare papa ne to TataSky lagwaa liya hai,
ab to bilkul theek hain, aap apna cable check karwa lo.
Hindi |
00Santa car mein battery lagwaane gaya.
Mechanic ne poocha: Exide ki laga du?
Santa sochne laga, fir bola: Baar-baar kaun aayega,
Dono side ki laga de..
Hindi
00Santa went to doctor to loose weight.
Doctor: If you will run eight kilometers a day for 300 days, you will loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days,
Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
Santa : I'm 2400 kms from home..
English |
10As pilots, Santa and Banta were trying to land an airplane.
They start descending and as they touch the ground Santa screamed:
"Get the airplane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...
They make a big turn and start descending again.
The moment they touch the ground, Santa screamed again
"Get the plane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...
They make a big turn and start descending again...
This goes on again and again...
During their fourth descent Santa says:
"Look at those stupid people,
they build this huge & expensive airport
but with such a short runaway...",
"I know" answers Banta, "But look how wide they made it...."
English |
20Teacher: If I give you two rabbits, and two rabbits and two more rabbits then
how many rabbits you will be having..?
Santa : Seven.
Teacher: Oh! Listen carefully.
If I give you two rabbits, and two rabbits and two more rabbits then
how many rabbits you will be having..?
Santa : Seven.
Teacher: Ok. Let me ask you
If I give you two chocolates, and two chocolates and two more chocolates then
how many chocolates you will be having..?
Santa : Six.
Teacher: Good. Now tell me
If I give you two rabbits, and two rabbits and two more rabbits then
how many rabbits you will be having..?
Santa : Seven.
Teacher: How is that..?
Santa : I am already having one at home.
English |
10Santa : Hello, Apollo Hospital.. My friend Banta has got an Hear Attack.
Receptionist: Sir, what's your location.
Santa : Chandni Chowk, near Sunehri Masjid .
Receptionist: Can you spell that..?
Santa : After a pause, How about I take him to India Gate and
you can pick him from there..?
English |
10Santa : Ek chor ne mujhe chaku dikha ke lut liya,
Banta: Tere paas to hamesha gun hoti hai..?
Santa : Haan.. 2 lakh ki hai
maine chupaa li thi varna woh bhi le jaata..
Hindi |
00After returning back from a foreign trip,
santa asked his wife : Do I look like a foreigner..?
wife : No! Why..?
santa : In London a lady asked me, Are you a foreigner..
English |
00Santa & Banta were having dinner.
Banta - Pass the wine, you divine.
Santa thought, how poetic.
So he replied - Pass the custard, you bastard..
English |
31Santa apne baap ki death par bahut roya.
Fir uski sister ka phone aaya.
Phone sun kar Santa aur bhi rone laga.
Logon ne poocha kyon ro rahe ho..?
Santa : Meri bhen da vi abba mar gaya hai.
Hindi |
00Santa petrol pump pe gaya.
Waha likha tha, "Dont use mobile phone here."
Santa ne apna mobile nikala aur har dost ko phone kia aur bola,
"Don't call me now, i am at petrol pump."
Hindi |
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