Hindi teacher asks Santa : Kaal kitne prakaar ke hote hain?
Santa : O G 7 prakaar ke -
1. Local kaal
2. STD kaal
3. ISD kaal
4. Missed kaal
5. Received kaal
6. Dialled kaal aur
7. Sat Sri Akal

51

Punjabi |

Jeeto: Kyon ji, tussi gaddi di speed kyon badhaa ditti..?
Santa : Break fail ho gayaa hai,
accident hon to pehlaan hi aapaa ghar pahunchna hai..

00

Punjabi

Santa car mein battery lagwaane gaya.
Mechanic ne poocha: Exide ki laga du?
Santa sochne laga, fir bola: Baar-baar kaun aayega,
Dono side ki laga de..

00

Hindi

Santa : Aaj mere paas paisa hai,
business hai, bangla hai,
tere paas kya hai?
Banta: Mere paas bhi paisa hai,
busines hai, bangla hai.
Santa : Oye kambakht, fir humaari maa kiske paas hai?

21

Hindi

Santa apni beti ke liye 24 saal ka ladka dekhne Delhi gayaa.
Wahaan se biwi ko phone karta hai:
"Oh bai toni di mummy,
24 da te koi ni milyeaa,
12-12 de hi do labh laan."

41

Punjabi

Santa and Banta bought a horse each.
Santa : How will we know which is your & which is mine?
Banta: Easy, I'll cut mine's tail, yours will be the one with tail.

This was heard by a few boys, they cut the other's tail too.
Next morning the confusion continued.
Banta: Don't worry, I'll tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell.

The boys heard this also & cut the bell. The next day, Banta got frustrated & said
"Okay now the last criterion, white will be yours & black will be mine."

00

English |

A Sardaar made a call to airport and
asked how long is the journey
from Punjab to America..
Receptionist: One second, sir.....
Sardaar: Thank you.

20

English

A kid asked Santa : Are you Punjabi?
Santa (proudly) : Yes.
Santa : But how do you know?
Kid : You are wearing a Kada.
Santa asks the kid : Are you Punjabi too?
Kid : Yes.
Santa : Do you drink Lassi daily?
Kid : No
Santa : Sorry, but then you are not a Punjabi.
Kid : Oh, I am Haryanvi.
Santa : Do you eat Ghee daily?
Kid : Yes
Santa (happily) : Yes, then you are Haryanvi..

00

English |

Santa goes to a Police station & says,
"Mujhe phone per dhamkiyaan mil rahi hain."
Police : Kaun phone karta hai?
Santa : Phone company waale bolte hain BILL na diya to KAAT denge.....

10

Hindi

Frog to Santa : Kya sardaar ka dimaag hota hai?
Santa : Haan hota hai.
Frog: Nahi hota.
and the frog jumps in the water.
Santa : Isme suicide karne ki kya baat thi,
i was joking..

10

Hindi

Santa : Yaar Banta, hum dono mein kya rishta hai?
Banta: Jo Gobar aur Uple mein hai.
Santa : Woh kaise?
Banta: Jab Gobar Santa hai, tabhi to Upla Banta hai.

01

Hindi

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