Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..

Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.

Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.

Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.

01

English |

Santa was filling a slambook.
He didn't knew the meaning of Zodiac sign.
He turned the previous page and
saw that somebody had written Cancer,
so he wrote Gas Problem..

20

English

Santa went to an electrical shop.
Santa : 2 panke dena; 1 ladies aur 1 gents.
Salesman: Pankhon mein ladies aur gents nahi hota.
Santa : Kaise nahi hote..1 Bajaj ka de aur 1 Usha ka..

13

Hindi |

Santa rail mein susu karne gayaa,
waapis aane per wife ne poocha,
Aapka pyjaama geela kaise ho gayaa?
Santa : Wahaa likha tha,
shareer ka koi bhi ang baahar na nikaale.

00

Hindi

Santa : I am always delighted
when people stick their noses in my business.
Banta: Why, what do you do..?
Santa : I make Tissue Papers..

00

English |

Santa : Every night I see monkeys
playing football in my dreams..
Doctor: Take this medicine from tonight for a week.
Santa : Can I start from tomorrow..?
Because tonight is the Final Match..

01

English |

Santa apne baap ki death par bahut roya.
Fir uski sister ka phone aaya.
Phone sun kar Santa aur bhi rone laga.
Logon ne poocha kyon ro rahe ho..?
Santa : Meri bhen da vi abba mar gaya hai.

31

Hindi |

Santa pravachan sun ke ghar aaya
aur apni biwi ko godh mein utha liya.
Biwi: Pravachan mein romance sikhaya hai kya?
Santa : Nahi, pravachan mein kaha ki apne dukhon ko khud uthaao.

00

Hindi

मंगल ग्रह पर पानी मिलने की खबर सुन कर
संता नासा फ़ोन करता है .
संता : ओ जी यह मंगल पर पानी मिल गया आपको ..?
नासा : यस
संता : ओ जी मुबारक हो जी..इक्क बोतल पानी चाहिदा सी
नासा : सॉरी , वी कांट गिव
संता : ओह ले ..इतना पैसा खर्चा करके
पानी भी ढून्ढ लित्ता है ते दे वी नहीं रहे
बन्दा धोने क्या मंगल पे जाएगा ..

Mangal greh par paani milne ki khabar sun kar
Santa NASA phone karta hai.
Santa : O ji yeh mangal par paani mil gaya aapko..?
NASA: Yes
Santa : O ji mubaarak ho ji..Ikk botal paani chaahida si
NASA: Sorry, we can't give.
Santa : Oh le..itna paisa kharchaa karke
paani bhi dhoond litta hai te de v nahi rahe
banda dhone kya mangal pe jaayega..

00

Hindi |

Santa : Yeh kela kaise diya?
Pundit: 1 rupee.
Santa : 60 paise ka deta hai?
Pundit: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka doonga.
Santa : Le 40 paise, chilka rakh ke sirf kela de de.

10

Hindi

Muderer: Try karna umar-kaid ho, Faansi na ho.
Santa : Don't worry. Case poora apne haath mein hai.

After Court.

Muderer: Kya hua..?
Santa : Bahut mushkil se umar-kaid karwaai hai,
Adaalat to riha kar rahi thi.

22

Hindi |

Santa : Jab main mar jaun to samne waali family ko jaroor bulana.
Banta: Kyon..?
Santa : Unke ghar ki ladies murde ko japhian paa-paa kar roti hain..

20

Hindi |

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