After boarding AC Double Decker Express train Santa exclaimed,
Paise bachaane ke liye dekho
ek train ke upar
doosri train rakh kar chalaa rahe hain.
Banta: Oh nahi yaar,
upar waali train mein petrol khatam ho gaya hoga..

00

Hindi |

A Sardaar made a call to airport and
asked how long is the journey
from Punjab to America..
Receptionist: One second, sir.....
Sardaar: Thank you.

20

English

Santa : Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made.
The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it..?
Banta: Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top,
how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open..?

00

English |

SnowPoint: Doctor, which soap you use..??
Santa : Gopal soap, Gopal paste, Gopal brush..
SnowPoint: Doctor, is Gopal an International Company..??
Santa : No, Gopal is my room-mate.

00

English

Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..

Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.

Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.

Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.

01

English |

Satna: Ek bar mere upar se scooter nikal gaya,
par fir bhi mujhe kuch nahi hua.
Banta: Yeh to kuch bhi nahi.
Ek bar mere upar se aeroplane nikal gaya,
aur main fir bhi bach gaya.

- Hemant Singh

30

Hindi |

Teacher : How many juice tetra packs can you
buy in 100 dollars if cost of one is 30 dollars?
Santa : 100 packs.
Teacher : Sorry, that's not correct.
Santa explains and the whole class claps..

Recepients:
Santa : I will buy 100 packs on credit by paying 100 dollars..

01

English |

Santa went to the see Jurassic Park movie and
when he saw Dinosaurs approaching he covered his head in his seat.
Banta: Oye santea, ki hoyea..? Movie hi te hai.
Santa : Oye khoteya, Dinosaur nu thode pata hai ki movie hai..
Jaanwar da ki bharosa.

10

Punjabi |

Once in a crowded bus Santa ka paon ek ladke ke paon pe aa gaya.
Santa : Sorry.
Ladka: Shut up.
Kuch der baad ek ladki ka paon ladke ke paon pe aa gaya .
Ladki: Sorry.
Ladka: Its Ok.
Santa : Na meri sorry de spelling ghalt c..?

11

Punjabi |

Santa was riding on horse.
He jumped the Red Light.
Policeman whisteled.
Santa lifts the tail of horse and said,
"Le kar le number note!!"

00

Hindi

Accident ke baad.
Driver: Maine car ki headlight ON kar ke bataya tha ki
pehle mjhe nikalne do.
Santa : Maine bhi to wiper chala ke bataya tha ki 'na kaake na'.

00

Hindi

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