Indian Air Force - IAF Pilots Training Camp Advice: "Always Try Quotes

Indian Air Force - IAF pilots training camp advice:
"Always try to keep the number
of landings you make
equal to the number of take
offs you make."

A lady asks a pandit: Ghar ki sukh-shanti ke liye kaun sa vrat rakhun..?
Padit: Moun Vrat..

Saddam(Narak mein): Yamraaj ji, mujhe pakistan baat karni hai.
Yamraaj: Karlo.
After the call..
Saddam: Kitne rupae hue..?
Yamraaj: Narak to narak calls free hain.

Mohabbat ke raaste mein har waqt dard milega..
Mohabbat ke raaste mein har waqt dard milega..
meri maano isi raaste par medical store khol lo
Mast Chalega!

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.
"What's the matter?" he was asked.
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right."
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor.

Shaadi main ek BEAUTIFUL ladki.
Ladke se: Aap dance karoge..??
Ladka style me bola: Yes..
Ladki pyar se: Toh fir aapki kursi main le jaau..