Indian Air Force - IAF Pilots Training Camp Advice: "Always Try Quotes

Indian Air Force - IAF pilots training camp advice:
"Always try to keep the number
of landings you make
equal to the number of take
offs you make."

A hair in the head is worth
two in the brush..

Boy: I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably seated.
Girl: So what do you do?

Boy: I close my eyes and act like i am sleeping..!

Bholu: Pandit ji meri shaadi nahi ho rahi hai..koi upaaye bataao..
Pandit ji: Kaise hogi bhai..?
Kundli mein sukh hi sukh likha hai, mauj karo..!!

Ladka: Mere saath chalogi.?
Ladki: Kaha?
Ladka: Jaha tum kaho.
Ladki: Ok, police station chalte hain.
Ladka: Lo bataao ab banda apni behen se mazaak bhi nahi kar sakta.

Fatherhood is great because
you can ruin someone from scratch.
- Jon Stewart

Two astrophysicists are discussing their research in a bar one evening
when a drunk who has been sitting and listening in at the next seat
turns and says, in a very worried voice,
"What was that you just said!!??"

"We were discussing stellar evolution, and I said to my colleague here
that the Sun would run out of nuclear fuel and turn into a red giant
star in about 5 billion years, possibly melting the Earth."

"Whew!!," says the drunk,
"You really had me worried. I thought you said 5 million."