A Man Goes Skydiving. After A Fantastic Free Fall He Pulls Quotes

A man goes skydiving.
After a fantastic free fall he pulls the rip cord to open his parachute
but nothing happens. He tries everything but can't get it open.

Just then another man flies by him, going UP.
The skydiver yells, "Hey, you know anything about parachutes?"
The man replies, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"

Couple silent in bed.
Wife thinks:
Why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman ?
Does he like someone else?
Is he seeing someone?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight?
Does my make up repel him these days.
Is he upset with my nagging?
WHY IS HE UPSET?

Husband thinking: Damnit man, Dhoni se kuch nahi ho Sakta, aur yeh Gautam gambhir..

5 panchi ped dali par baithe the.
Shikari ne ek ko mar diya or 3 udd gaye.
Par ek panchi baitha raha.
Kyon?
Bas haramipana hai,
"NAHI HATENGE"

Ek baba roz gurdware kirtan krda c,
Roz ek budhi lal suit pa ke aundi c,
Baba us nu pyaar krda c.
Ek din oh budhi nahi aayi
te baba kirtan krda kenda "sab sangta ayiea gi saade LAL nazar nai aaunde"
ose wele oh budhi HARA suit pa ke a jandi e.
Baba bolan lag pya 'mann shetal ho gya gi vekh k sangta Harian-bharian..

एक बार एक लड़का अपनी गर्लफ्रेंड के साथ बगीचे में बैठा बातें कर रहा होता है
लड़का: जानू, आज मौसम कितना सुहाना है ना?
लड़की: हाँ!
लड़का : तो इस सुहाने मौसम में कोई ऐसी बात करो ना जिसे सुन कर मेरे दिल की धड़कन तेज हो जाए!
लड़की (अचानक): अबे भाग नहीं तो आज तू पिटेगा मेरा बाप और भाई इधर ही आ रहे हैं!

Train me baithi ladki ne
platform par khade ladke se pucha:
kaun sa station hai ye...??
Ladka: friendship karogi to bataunga..
Ladki: hey bhagwan !
DELHI AA GYA!

Jailer: Suna hai tum shayar ho.. Kuch sunao yaar.
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Qaidi: Gum-e-Ulfat me jo zindagi kati Hamari..
Jis Din zamaanat hui zindagi khatm Tumhaari..