Biwi: Mujhe samajh nahi aata paisae kahan rakhun,- Kannan
jahan chupati hun humaara beta chura leta hai.
Husband : Uski books mein chipa do, yeh kabhi hath nahi lagata..
A very wealthy old man was dying and summoned his lawyer, his Priest, and his Doctor.
As his final and last wish, he gave each 2,50,000 in cash. He said he wanted to prove that you "could" take it with you when you die. He requested that each one of them throw the cash in his grave just before they shoveled the dirt in.
A few days later at the funeral the Priest walked up to the grave after the Eulogy and with tears in his eyes, tossed the money into the grave. Shortly after, the Doctor also did the same. Last the lawyer came and tossed in an envelope.
At the family gathering, or wake if you will, the Priest walked up to the Doctor and the lawyer and said, "I must confess, I kept out 25,000 of his money for the orphanage". With that the Doctor also confided that he too kept out 50,000 for the new Medical Clinic for the poor. The lawyer then exclaimed, "Shame, shame on you both!, I gave him a check for the entire amount!"
Engg. Student: Sir humne aisi cheez banayi hai jisse hum- Vikas Umrao
deewar ke us paar bhi dekh sakte hain.....
Sir: Wow, fantastic! Kya hai woh?
If you love someone,
don't keep her in your heart .
Keep her in your nails,
because if you fail in love ..
don't break your heart ,
just cut the nails.
Is this the reason that girls keep long nails..?
Height of Confidence
All the aeronautics professors were called and
they were asked to sit in an aeroplane.
After they sat, they were told that
the plane was made by their students.
All of them hurried out of the plane but
only one of them didn't move.
He said: If it's made by my students,
it won't even start..!
Harbhajan Singh started bhangra
on the score of 33.
Sachin: Why are you dancing..
it's not a 50 or 100 yet..?
Bhajji: Only a punjab board student
can understand the value of 33!
Every takeoff is optional.
Every landing is mandatory.
I told her that i have no jewellery shop.
Still she says, "Mahi Mahi Mahi Mainu Challa Pawaa De.."
Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,- Hemant Singh
Nazrein jhuka-ke sharma-ke galiyon se guzra karti thi
latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Le lo..Bartan……
Judge: Sach-sach batao tumne apni biwi per haath kyun uthaaya..?
Mulzim: 3 baaton ki wajah se
1. Uska chehra meri taraf nahi tha
2. Uske haath mein belan nahi tha
3. Aur sabse badi wajah,
mere bhaagne ke liye darwaaza khula tha..
Ek aadmi ki 6 ungaliyaan thi,
usse log hanuman bulaate the,
uska naam hanuman tha..!!
The trouble with having an open mind,
of course, is that
people will insist on coming along and
trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
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