A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martin us.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies,
"If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

Most words that end in "us" are pluralized by changing the "us" to "i"
(e.g. cactus - cacti, genius - genii, Stimulus - stimuli) and most of those words have Latin roots. So the Latin scholar thinks of "martini" as being plural, so he singularises it by calling it a "martinus".


English |


Father to son: Sharmaji ki ladki ko dekha hai,
woh exam mein first aai hai.
Son: Usi ko to dekhta tha,
tabhi to fail ho gaya.



Customer: Waiter, do you serve pigs..?
Waiter: Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.


English |

Who Killed Osama Bin Laden??
Recognized these guys?
These are the names of those Navy Seals
who killed Osama Bin Laden!
Now you..

- Sumit Nigam

English |

Teacher to Banta: Tell me five animals living in water?
Banta: Frog.
Teacher: Theek hai, hor das?
Banta: Frog da peo, ohdi maa, behen te wotti..



A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license.
He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
Policeman: "I don't care who you know! You're getting fined!"


English |

Salesman cheerfully greeted
the person entering showroom.
Salesman - Sir, May I help you.
Man - Ahmm..
Salesman - Sir, we have got fresh arrivals
and are offering 10 percent discount.
Man - But..
Salesman - Sir, you can also avail
extra benefits by joining our loyalty program.
What would you like to have Sir.
Man - My dog.


English |

If a Fat Girl is waiting for bus at bus stop
what will you call her in One Word..?
Answer - MotiVating..


Hindi |

A mosquito cried out in pain:
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
was para-dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane.


English |

Life mein chaahe kitne bhi dukh mile, ghum mile,
apne aansu beh jaane dena, unhe rokna mat kyonki..
ruke hue paani mein hi Malaria wale machchar ande dete hain.



Anaath Ashram Manager to Bania:
Sethji, aap hamare anaath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?

Funny Bania: Mein anaath ashram mein apne Char bachhe bhej sakta hu.

- Hemant Singh


Hindi |

Who was the first Indian woman
to fly abroad without passport and visa?
Sita with Ravan to Sri Lanka.



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