A Roman Walks Into A Bar And Asks For A Quotes

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martin us.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies,
"If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

Details:
Most words that end in "us" are pluralized by changing the "us" to "i"
(e.g. cactus - cacti, genius - genii, Stimulus - stimuli) and most of those words have Latin roots. So the Latin scholar thinks of "martini" as being plural, so he singularises it by calling it a "martinus".

What is attitude ..?
Three ants saw an elephant coming.
1st ant - We'll kill him.
2nd ant - We'll break his legs.
3rd ant - Leave him dude, he's alone,
and we r three.. that won't be fair.

Cricketer ka beta: Arre dekho maa..
papa sixer per sixer maare jaa rahe hain!!
Maa: Beta theek se dekho..
advertisement hoga.

A mosquito cried out in pain:
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
was para-dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane.

Boy: Yamraj ji, mujhe waqt se pehle kyun utha liya?
Yamraj: Dimag mat chaat, March mein closing hai,
target poora karna hai.

Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi,
jab Dulhn phero ke waqt uske paas aa kar baithi to woh bola,
"Thoda paas ho ke baith, ek sawari aur baith sakti hai."

Funny Slogans
RTO - Donate blood, but not on road.
Forest Deptt. - Shoot birds with camera,
not with guns.
Kingfisher - Fly with us, not on plane,
but with Beer..