00A kid asked Santa : Are you Punjabi?
Santa (proudly) : Yes.
Santa : But how do you know?
Kid : You are wearing a Kada.
Santa asks the kid : Are you Punjabi too?
Kid : Yes.
Santa : Do you drink Lassi daily?
Kid : No
Santa : Sorry, but then you are not a Punjabi.
Kid : Oh, I am Haryanvi.
Santa : Do you eat Ghee daily?
Kid : Yes
Santa (happily) : Yes, then you are Haryanvi..
English |
10Santa -Tu udaas kyu hai?
Kal to teri shadi hai
Banta-ladki walo ne kaha hai ki "Barat kam lana"
Santa -to?
Banta-Pata ni Papa muJhe le Jayenge ki ni
Hindi
00Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes.
He got irritated..
drank poison and said
Now bite, u'll die bastards..
English
3310Santa : "I LOVE YOU" ka matlab kya hota hai ?
- Hemant Singh
Preeto: Main tumse pyar karti hu.
Santa : Lo kar lo baat.. Angreji me ek sawaal kya puchh liya
Tum to Fida ho gayi.
Hindi |
00Santa and Banta bought a horse each.
Santa : How will we know which is your & which is mine?
Banta: Easy, I'll cut mine's tail, yours will be the one with tail.
This was heard by a few boys, they cut the other's tail too.
Next morning the confusion continued.
Banta: Don't worry, I'll tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell.
The boys heard this also & cut the bell. The next day, Banta got frustrated & said
"Okay now the last criterion, white will be yours & black will be mine."
English |
10As pilots, Santa and Banta were trying to land an airplane.
They start descending and as they touch the ground Santa screamed:
"Get the airplane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...
They make a big turn and start descending again.
The moment they touch the ground, Santa screamed again
"Get the plane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...
They make a big turn and start descending again...
This goes on again and again...
During their fourth descent Santa says:
"Look at those stupid people,
they build this huge & expensive airport
but with such a short runaway...",
"I know" answers Banta, "But look how wide they made it...."
English |
00Tintumon: Aaj kal TV mein channel bahut kharaab aa rahe hain.
Santa : Nahi to, humaare papa ne to TataSky lagwaa liya hai,
ab to bilkul theek hain, aap apna cable check karwa lo.
Hindi |
01Ek Buddhi ne ATM ke pas Santa se kaha:
Beta mera Balance check kar do.
Santa ne Buddhi ko Dhakka de diya,
Buddhi gir gayi.
Santa : Tumhara balance kharab hai.
Hindi |
00Santa : Doctor saab mujhe chot lag gayi hai.
Doctor: Bahut gehri chot hai, taanke lagenge, 1000 Rs lagenge.
Santa : Bhutni dea, taanke laune ne, kadaai nahi karni..
Punjabi |
00Santa : Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made.
The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it..?
Banta: Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top,
how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open..?
English |
00Santa was riding on horse.
He jumped the Red Light.
Policeman whisteled.
Santa lifts the tail of horse and said,
"Le kar le number note!!"
Hindi
11Once in a crowded bus Santa ka paon ek ladke ke paon pe aa gaya.
Santa : Sorry.
Ladka: Shut up.
Kuch der baad ek ladki ka paon ladke ke paon pe aa gaya .
Ladki: Sorry.
Ladka: Its Ok.
Santa : Na meri sorry de spelling ghalt c..?
Punjabi |
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