A kid asked Santa : Are you Punjabi?
Santa (proudly) : Yes.
Santa : But how do you know?
Kid : You are wearing a Kada.
Santa asks the kid : Are you Punjabi too?
Kid : Yes.
Santa : Do you drink Lassi daily?
Kid : No
Santa : Sorry, but then you are not a Punjabi.
Kid : Oh, I am Haryanvi.
Santa : Do you eat Ghee daily?
Kid : Yes
Santa (happily) : Yes, then you are Haryanvi..

00

English |

Santa went to the see Jurassic Park movie and
when he saw Dinosaurs approaching he covered his head in his seat.
Banta: Oye santea, ki hoyea..? Movie hi te hai.
Santa : Oye khoteya, Dinosaur nu thode pata hai ki movie hai..
Jaanwar da ki bharosa.

10

Punjabi |

Girl: how many apples can you eat on an empty stomach ?
Santa : I can eat 6 apples
Girl : you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz
when you eat the 2nd apple tht's not an empty stomach..
Santa : Wow super joke I'l tell my friend ..

Santa to friend : how many apples you can eat on an empty stomach..?
friend : I can eat 10
Santa : Pagal.. 6 bolta to mast joke sunata..

11

Hindi |

Government promised jiske 5 bachche hain oose ghar degi.
Santa ke 3, usne Wife se kaha: Padosan ke 2 bhi mere hain,
unko lata hun.
Lane ke baad:
Santa : Apne 3 kaha gaye?
Wife : Jinke the woh le gaye.

00

Hindi

एक बार संता अपनी पत्नी जीतो के साथ कॉफी पीने जाता है और
दो हॉट कॉफी ऑर्डर करता है,
कुछ देर बाद जैसे ही वेटर कॉफी लेकर आता है तो संता, जीतो से कहता है:
संता: ओ जीतो जल्दी-जल्दी कॉफी पी ले अगर ठण्डी हो गई तो फ़ालतू में ज्यादा पैसे देने पड़ेंगे!
जीतो: क्यों क्या हुआ? मुंह जलवाने से तो अच्छा है कि, यह थोड़ी ठंडी हो जाए उसके बाद पिएं!
संता: पागल तूने इनकी रेट लिस्ट नहीं देखी, हॉट कॉफी 15 रुपए और कोल्ड कॉफ़ी 45 रुपए की है!

- Hemant Singh

22

Hindi |

Santa (ladki ko chedte hue):
Hor sohneyo, ki haal aa..??
Ladki (Gusse mein)
Jo teri bhen da.
Santa : Woh to pregnant hai..

10

Punjabi

Santa : Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made.
The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it..?
Banta: Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top,
how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open..?

00

English |

Santa ne apni nayi girlfriend k
kandhe pe 1st time hath rakha aur
bahut dhire se nervously bola: "I love u"
Girlfriend-"zor se Bolo''
Santa -"JAI MATA DI"

00

Hindi

Santa apni pockets mein pathar daal ke ghoom raha tha.
Kisi ne poocha: Aisa kyon kar rahe ho..?
Santa : Is duniya mein usi ki qadar hoti hai, jiski jeb bhaari hoti hai..

11

Hindi |

Santa da puttar - Phapaji eh Family Tree ki hunda hai?
Santa - Oye khote deya puttara,
Family Tree is just like Family Field,
jinve monty da khet, chedi di chapadee,
bhajane di keekar, mangu di beri etc. etc.

10

Punjabi |

Santa : I am always delighted
when people stick their noses in my business.
Banta: Why, what do you do..?
Santa : I make Tissue Papers..

00

English |

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