Before Marriage Roses Are Red, Sky Is Blue, U R Beautiful, I Luv Quotes

Before Marriage
Roses are red, Sky is blue,
U r beautiful,
I luv u.

After Marriage
Roses are dead, i have flu,
Don't get on my head,
side ho Tu..

Passenger: Will this bus take me to New Delhi?
Driver: Which part..?
Passenger: All of me, of course..!

Funny Slogans
RTO - Donate blood, but not on road.
Forest Deptt. - Shoot birds with camera,
not with guns.
Kingfisher - Fly with us, not on plane,
but with Beer..

Aaj ke baad na peeyenge sharaab
humne kasam khaai hai,
aur isi khushi mein
ek peti aur mangwaai hai.

Ek bewafa ki khatir humne jam utha liya....

Fir..

Fir kya..

bread pe lagaya or kha liya!!

Moral: Sabi ashik sharabi ni hote kuch BHUKHE bhi hote hain..

A very wealthy old man was dying and summoned his lawyer, his Priest, and his Doctor.
As his final and last wish, he gave each 2,50,000 in cash. He said he wanted to prove that you "could" take it with you when you die. He requested that each one of them throw the cash in his grave just before they shoveled the dirt in.

A few days later at the funeral the Priest walked up to the grave after the Eulogy and with tears in his eyes , tossed the money into the grave. Shortly after, the Doctor also did the same. Last the lawyer came and tossed in an envelope.

At the family gathering, or wake if you will, the Priest walked up to the Doctor and the lawyer and said, "I must confess, I kept out 25,000 of his money for the orphanage". With that the Doctor also confided that he too kept out 50,000 for the new Medical Clinic for the poor. The lawyer then exclaimed, "Shame, shame on you both!, I gave him a check for the entire amount!"

Investment returns in one year:
Gold 28%,
Silver 80%,
Crude 40%,
Sensex 35%
&
ONION 880%,
Kaash..
Ek Lakh ke Pyaaz liye hote
to NEW YEAR ke liye Europe me hota..