Santa Standing On A Platform, Suddenly Jumps On Railway Track. A Quotes

Santa standing on a platform, suddenly jumps on railway track.
A man shouts Sardaarji mar jaaoge.
Santa : Maregaa to tu saale,
suna nahin train platform no. 1 par aa rahi hai.

Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..

Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.

Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.

Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.

Santa sookhe taalaab mein boat chala raha tha.
Banta: Aise logo ne hi humaara naam kharaab kar rakha hai,
agar mujhe tairna aata to wahi jaa kar maarta saale ko..

As pilots, Santa and Banta were trying to land an airplane.
They start descending and as they touch the ground Santa screamed:
"Get the airplane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...

They make a big turn and start descending again.
The moment they touch the ground, Santa screamed again
"Get the plane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...

They make a big turn and start descending again...
This goes on again and again...

During their fourth descent Santa says:
"Look at those stupid people,
they build this huge & expensive airport
but with such a short runaway...",
"I know" answers Banta, "But look how wide they made it...."

Santa : Mujhe shadi mein BMW mili hai..!
Banta: Par tumhare pass toh koi car nahi hai..?
Santa :Abe gadhe, BMW ka matlab
Bahut Moti Wife ..

One afternoon, Banta came to Santa 's home.
Santa : Chalo dinner karte hain
Banta: Par abhi to dopeher hai aur dopeher ko to lunch karte hain..?
Santa : Oh yara khana to kal raat waala hi hai na..

Santa (ladki ko chedte hue):
Hor sohneyo, ki haal aa..??
Ladki (Gusse mein)
Jo teri bhen da.
Santa : Woh to pregnant hai..