20Santa mango juice ka glass le k baitha tha.
Banta aaya aur fataak se juice pi gya.
Santa : Meri to yar kismat hi kharaab hai.
Banta: Kyon, kya hua?
Beta fail ho gya.
Biwi dost k saath bhag gyi,
Ghar mein chori ho gye,
Nal mein pani nahi,
Ghar mein light nahi,
Ab juice me Zehar daal k peene ko rakha tha,
aur WO BHI TU PI gaya.
Hindi
10As pilots, Santa and Banta were trying to land an airplane.
They start descending and as they touch the ground Santa screamed:
"Get the airplane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...
They make a big turn and start descending again.
The moment they touch the ground, Santa screamed again
"Get the plane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...
They make a big turn and start descending again...
This goes on again and again...
During their fourth descent Santa says:
"Look at those stupid people,
they build this huge & expensive airport
but with such a short runaway...",
"I know" answers Banta, "But look how wide they made it...."
English |
11Ram-leela se hanumaan tha fraar,
role ke liye fit kiya ek Sardaar,
tha bahut hi kamaal,
ped se chalaang lagaa kar bola..
Jo bole so nihaal.....
Sita Mata, Sat Shri Akaal!!
Hindi
00Santa was driving a car zigzag and rashly.
Traffic cop caought him.
Santa : Sir, I am learning driving.
Cop: Without instructor?
Santa : It's a correspondence course.
English
10Santa was experimenting with a cockroach.
He cut one of his legs and told it to walk.
The cockroach began moving slowly.
He continued till all legs were cut.
Then he told it to walk, but it didn't move.
So he wrote the inference:
If all the legs of a cockroach were cut,
it loses it's ability to hear.
English
10Santa ek jyotish ke paas kundali (horoscope) dikhaane gaya.
Jyotish: Tera naam Santa hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tujhe 2 ladki aur 1 ladka hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tune abhi 10 kg rice khareede hain.
Santa : Maharaj ki jai ho.
Jyotish: Bewakoof ! Kundali dikha, Ration Card nahi..
Hindi |
00Judge: why are you arrested..?
Santa : For shopping early.
Judge: Well, that’s not a crime,
anyway how early were you shopping?
Santa : Before opening the shop.
English |
20Santa was filling a slambook.
He didn't knew the meaning of Zodiac sign.
He turned the previous page and
saw that somebody had written Cancer,
so he wrote Gas Problem..
English
01Ek Buddhi ne ATM ke pas Santa se kaha:
Beta mera Balance check kar do.
Santa ne Buddhi ko Dhakka de diya,
Buddhi gir gayi.
Santa : Tumhara balance kharab hai.
Hindi |
51Hindi teacher asks Santa : Kaal kitne prakaar ke hote hain?
Santa : O G 7 prakaar ke -
1. Local kaal
2. STD kaal
3. ISD kaal
4. Missed kaal
5. Received kaal
6. Dialled kaal aur
7. Sat Sri Akal
Punjabi |
21Santa & Banta Safar Te Ja Rahe See,
- Tarun Goma
Raste Wichoh Raat Ho Gayi
Te Oh Tent Laga Ke So Gaye,
Raat Nu Banta Di Akh Khuli
Ohne Santa Nu Jaga Ke Kiha
Asman Wal Dekh Ke Dass Tainu Ki Nazar Aa Riha Hai
Santa Boliya Bhut Sare Sittare
Banta Is To Ki Patta Lagda Hai
Santa : Assman Bhut Hi Khubsurat Hai Te Roshni B Hai
Banta: Oye Kanjra, Koi Sada Tent Putt Ke Lai Gya Hai..
Punjabi |
00Milkman: Are you sure you want 50 litres of milk?
Santa : Yes, my doctor told me to take a bath of milk.
Milkman: Would you like it pasteurized?
Santa : No, just up to my neck please.
English |
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