The First 5 Days After The Weekend Are Always The Hardest.. Quotes

A famous inspirational speaker said -
'Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !'
Audience was in shock and silence.
He added -
'She was my mother.'
Applause & Laughter.
A top manager tried to crack this at home.
After a drink he said loudly to his wife , in kitchen -
'Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !'
Standing for a moment
trying to recall the second half, he finally blurted out -
'I can't remember .'

Policewala agar juice ke thele par
juice pee raha ho to
dekhne waala yahi sochta hai -
Free mein pee raha hoga..

Girl:Tum Ladke Sab ek jaise kyon Hote ho?
Boy: Tum sabko kyon try karti ho..?

एक बार एक लड़का अपनी गर्लफ्रेंड के साथ बगीचे में बैठा बातें कर रहा होता है
लड़का: जानू, आज मौसम कितना सुहाना है ना?
लड़की: हाँ!
लड़का : तो इस सुहाने मौसम में कोई ऐसी बात करो ना जिसे सुन कर मेरे दिल की धड़कन तेज हो जाए!
लड़की (अचानक): अबे भाग नहीं तो आज तू पिटेगा मेरा बाप और भाई इधर ही आ रहे हैं!

Lawyer: Now that we have won,
will you tell me confidentially
if you stole the money?
Client: Well, after hearing you talk in court yesterday,
I am beginning to think I didn't.