Santa opens the door of his car,
when suddenly another car came along
and hit the door,
ripping it off completely.
Santa to Police Officer: Look what they've done to my Car! He whined.

"You are so materialistic, you make me sick!", retorted the officer.
"You're so worried about your car,
that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"

"Oh no!", replied Santa ,
finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was.
"Where's my Rolex..?!"

10

English |

SnowPoint: Doctor, which soap you use..??
Santa : Gopal soap, Gopal paste, Gopal brush..
SnowPoint: Doctor, is Gopal an International Company..??
Santa : No, Gopal is my room-mate.

00

English

How Santa bid farewell to Preeto:
Preetoji I am very sad
tussi jaa rahe ho,
tussi naa jaao.
Te je jaa hi rahe ho
te apni friend
Kammo da number de dena please
kade thoda dukh-sukh saanjha kar laange..

11149

Punjabi |

Santa was commiting suicide.
Banta: Ki hoya?
Santa : Yaar, meri biwi bhaag gayi mere dost ke saath.
Banta: To tu doosri shaadi kar le, suicide kyon?
Santa : Oye banteyaa main apne dost ke bina nahi reh sakta.

00

Hindi

Muderer: Try karna umar-kaid ho, Faansi na ho.
Santa : Don't worry. Case poora apne haath mein hai.

After Court.

Muderer: Kya hua..?
Santa : Bahut mushkil se umar-kaid karwaai hai,
Adaalat to riha kar rahi thi.

22

Hindi |

Smartest thing santa ever did.
He changed his passwords to incorrect.
So whenever he forgets, the computer will remind him,
'Incorrect username or password.'..

00

English |

Santa : Banto ji, yeh roasted chicken
taa waise bada tasty hai,
par thoda ajeeb sa kyon lag rahaa hai?
Banto: Thoda jal gayaa si ji,
is lai dettol lagaa ditti.

00

Punjabi

Hindi teacher asks Santa : Kaal kitne prakaar ke hote hain?
Santa : O G 7 prakaar ke -
1. Local kaal
2. STD kaal
3. ISD kaal
4. Missed kaal
5. Received kaal
6. Dialled kaal aur
7. Sat Sri Akal

51

Punjabi |

Why did Santa put the new January calendar in the freezer.......??????
:
:
:
:
Because he want his new year to start in a cool way........

- Vidhi

00

English |

Santa returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a shit..?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all"..?
Librarian: So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory..

00

English |

Recommended for You »

  1. Rozet Mobarak Bashe Mahtab Jan Inshalah Rozet Khob Va Ali Bashan ..
  2. Mausam Chaahe Badalte Rahe Par Yaadon Ke Phool Jaroor Khilenge Samay Badlegaa ..
  3. Never Frown Even When You Are Sad Because You Never Know ..
  4. I Like You I Like You I Like You I Like You Very Much I ..
  5. Woh Aaj Bhi Keh Dein Mujhe Ghulam Bana Lenge Tanha Yeh Jannat Mujhe ..
  6. The Lightest Organ In The Human Body Is The Lung ..
  7. What Is Friendship? It Is A Ship Loaded With Love Care ..
  8. Maine Kaha Dilruba Usne Kaha Ice Cream Khilaa Maine Kaha Paise Nahi Usne Kaha ..
  9. Age Is Nothing To Boast Of; You Get It For Nothing ..
  10. Meri Khamoshi Ko Galat Rang De Kar Ik Shaks Mujhe Shehar ..

Share & Let Everyone Read









Draw shape below and click submit button to send us your message:
आओ खेलें

लाल बूढ़क्की छू..

anagram quiz

About Us


Our logo expands to iOLdot - Ik Oankaar Lazeez Dimension of Texting which tries to reflect our ideology.

The purpose of this website is to develop a Dimension to Texting through the Aesthetics of Words by providing Unique, Decent, Pleasant, Pure, Gentle, Clean, Refined, Inoffensive Thought Provoking Wisdom Quotes, Funny Jokes, Shayari, Motivational SMS, Greetings, Wishes, Proverbs, Dohe, Love Messages & much more.. We also encourage you to be part of this journey & share your creative content with us. Play your flute here..



What's more


moderated-content-kids-safe

Moderated Content

Safe for people of all Age Groups including Children.
sms-api-always-win

API

Display SMS on your Website or Blog at Zero Cost.
rate-content

SMS Rating

Gives You Power to Rate Content.
« Stay In Touch »

Quality Improvement Initiative

Quality Improvement Program

On September 13, 2015 we took an initiative towards delivering high quality content. With every Lazeez SMS you will find two thumbs - one for upvote and one to downvote.

Sample thumb screenshot

You can cast your vote simply by clicking on the thumb icon.