I Am On A Mission. Mission To Avoid You, To Forget You, To Quotes

Two astrophysicists are discussing their research in a bar one evening
when a drunk who has been sitting and listening in at the next seat
turns and says, in a very worried voice,
"What was that you just said!!??"

"We were discussing stellar evolution, and I said to my colleague here
that the Sun would run out of nuclear fuel and turn into a red giant
star in about 5 billion years, possibly melting the Earth."

"Whew!!," says the drunk,
"You really had me worried. I thought you said 5 million."

Ek aurat ne 5 Saal ke Bache ko
Cigaret Pite Dekha to bache se Kaha:
Kya tumhare Parents ko Malum hai ki Tum smoke krte ho?
BACHCHA(Dhuwa Chhodte hue):
Mohtarma..!!
Kya aap ke shohar ko maloom hai
ki aap ek gair mard se baate kar rahi hain?

ਨਿਕੰਮੀ ਔਲਾਦ ਦੀ ਜਿੰਨੀ ਘੱਟ ਸੇਵਾ ਕੀਤੀ ਜਾਏ
ਘਰ ਉੰਨਾ ਜ਼ਯਾਦਾ ਤਰੱਕੀ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈ ..

Motorist: Say, this darned car won't climb a hill!
You said it was a fine machine!
Dealer: I said: 'On the level it's a good car.'

Kashmir ki romantic waadiyon mein,
barfeeli hawaaon mein,
jheel ke kinaare baithe Raanjhe ko
Heer ne kya kahaa..??
Ve moeyaa Hero na ban..
Sweater pehen le.