If You Love Someone, Don't Keep Her In Your Heart. Keep Her Quotes

If you love someone,
don't keep her in your heart .
Keep her in your nails,
because if you fail in love ..
don't break your heart ,
just cut the nails.
Is this the reason that girls keep long nails..?

Merry Christmas,
Enjoy New Year ,
Happy Easter,
Good luck on Valentines,
Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday.
Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months..

Investment returns in one year:
Gold 28%,
Silver 80%,
Crude 40%,
Sensex 35%
&
ONION 880%,
Kaash..
Ek Lakh ke Pyaaz liye hote
to NEW YEAR ke liye Europe me hota..

English to Hindi Translations
1. Yo baby! what's up?
मुन्नी , यह ऊपर क्या है ?
2. Listen buddy, that chick is mine!
सुनो दोस्त , वह मुर्गी का बच्चा मेरा है !
3. Are you nuts?
क्या आप अखरोट हैं ?
4. Let's rock the party.
चलो पार्टी में पत्थर मारते हैं |
5. Let's hangout yaar.
चलो बाहर लटकते हैं ..

Pujaari ko loose motions lag gaye,
Dr. ke paas dawaa lene gayaa.
Dr. ne dawaa di to pujaari ne poocha,
parhez kya karoon?????
Dr. bola, "Bas SHANKH zor se mat bajaanaa."

चाटी क्यों अम्मा चुम्बक तू
इक दिल्ली गयो दूजा टिम्बकटू ..

Details:
These lines are taken from Hotstar VIVO IPL 2019 campaign advertisement. Quite funny and creative #KoiYaarNahiFar..

You love someone..you marry someone else..
the one you marry becomes your wife or husband ..
and the one you loved becomes the password of your email id.