Media People Asked Abhishek, What Is The Difference Between New N Quotes

Media people asked abhishek,
what is the difference between new n old umraao jaan..?
Abhishek replied, not a big difference,
nayi mein apni setting hui..
aur purani mein papa ki..

School me ek bachha chaku liye ghoom raha tha
Teacher: Chaku liye kyun ghoom rahe ho..?
Tumhe sharam aani chaahiye.
Bachha: Gareeb hun Sir, Revolver kahan se laun..

A naughty kid was sitting on the toilet but potty was not coming.
After many efforts he got frustrated and shouted:
Aley aa jaa yaal,
main tujhe khaa thori jaunga..

One day James Bond goes to buy a pan. The pan walla asks him 4

Rs. for the pan but James Bond gives him only 1.5 rs. When paan

waala asks him for the rest of the money ...Bond replies ....?????

Take a guess

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.



Dhai (2.5)another day.........

A little boy who wanted 100 rupees.
He decided to write a letter to God .
When the postal authorities received the letter to " God "
they decided to send it to President.
The president was so impressed, touched, and amused
that he instructed his secretary
to send the little boy a 50 rupees.
The little boy was delighted with the money,
and immediately sat down to write
a thank you note to God which read
"Dear God , Thank you for sending me the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason
you had to send it through New Delhi, and as usual,
those people deducted 50 rupees."

Santa ek jyotish ke paas kundali (horoscope) dikhaane gaya.
Jyotish: Tera naam Santa hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tujhe 2 ladki aur 1 ladka hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tune abhi 10 kg rice khareede hain.
Santa : Maharaj ki jai ho.
Jyotish: Bewakoof ! Kundali dikha, Ration Card nahi..

Vidaai ke time DULHE ka mobile baja,

DULHAN ne thapad maar diya....?

Ringtone thi-

"Dil me chupake pyar ka armaan le chale,
hum aaj apni maut ka saaman le chale"