Santa Joined Army, Given Ak-47, Puzzeled Santa Asks Major, "Sir, Is Quotes

Santa joined Army, given ak-47, puzzeled Santa asks Major,
"Sir, is bandook ki nali saamne rakhun ya ulta?"
Major: Kisi bhi tarah rakho, faayedaa desh ka hi hoga.

Santa : Lalaji dettol soap hai,
Lala: ha,
Santa : acha vala hai,
Lala: ha,
Santa : achi quality ka hai,
Lala: ha bhai ha,
Santa : thik hai hath dhokr 1kg aata do..

Santa 5 min mein paper dekar examination hall se baahar aa gaya.
Teacher: paper nahi aata tha kya?
Santa : Aata tha, par who agle paper ki tyaari karni thi.

Santa kudi nu: Ki tu meri valentine banengi..?
Kudi: Eh jutti vekhi hai..?
Santa : Marjaaniye, main Romeo-Juliet banaan nu firdaa,
sittu mochi di daastaan nahi.

A Chinese was in a hospital.
Santa went to meet him.
Chinese said CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA & died.
Santa went china to know the meaning, that was:
You are standing on the Oxygen pipe..

Santa : Jab me chota tha to ek baar kutub minaar se gir gaya tha.
Banta: Acha!! to mar gya ya bach gya.
Santa : Saale.! mujhe kya pata, me to chota tha...

Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..

Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.

Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.

Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.