10Santa joined Army, given ak-47, puzzeled Santa asks Major,
"Sir, is bandook ki nali saamne rakhun ya ulta?"
Major: Kisi bhi tarah rakho, faayedaa desh ka hi hoga.
Hindi
10Santa got a new job:
1st day he worked till evening .
Boss was happy and asked what u did till evening ?
Santa : Keyboard alphabets were not in right order,
i made it correct.....
English
30A sardaar prays daily for two hours:
Hey Waheguru, meri lottery lagaa davo.
After 11 years Waheguru angrily appears and says:
Oye Khoteyaa, ik vaari ticket taan lae..
Punjabi
30Teacher: Banta, make a sentence
in which 1 word is repeated 4 times.
Banta: If Lara Dutta marries Brian Lara,
she becomes Lara Lara.
O Bolo Tara Rara!!
Hindi
10I am deleting your number from my phone.
As I always send you messages but you never replied.
So good bye forever.
Santa sent this to customer care..
English
3414Santa ne ek naamcheen karamaati insaan se poocha:
Aap meri sharab churwa sakte ho..?
Karamaati: Haan kyun nahi.
Santa : To police ne meri 22 bottlein pakri hain. Churwa do.
Hindi |
22एक बार संता अपनी पत्नी जीतो के साथ कॉफी पीने जाता है और
- Hemant Singh
दो हॉट कॉफी ऑर्डर करता है,
कुछ देर बाद जैसे ही वेटर कॉफी लेकर आता है तो संता, जीतो से कहता है:
संता: ओ जीतो जल्दी-जल्दी कॉफी पी ले अगर ठण्डी हो गई तो फ़ालतू में ज्यादा पैसे देने पड़ेंगे!
जीतो: क्यों क्या हुआ? मुंह जलवाने से तो अच्छा है कि, यह थोड़ी ठंडी हो जाए उसके बाद पिएं!
संता: पागल तूने इनकी रेट लिस्ट नहीं देखी, हॉट कॉफी 15 रुपए और कोल्ड कॉफ़ी 45 रुपए की है!
Hindi |
10TV reporter to Santa : Can you tell me
how many jokes are there on you?
Santa : Hardly 2 or max 3,
the rest are all true stories.
English
11Girl: how many apples can you eat on an empty stomach ?
Santa : I can eat 6 apples
Girl : you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz
when you eat the 2nd apple tht's not an empty stomach..
Santa : Wow super joke I'l tell my friend ..
Santa to friend : how many apples you can eat on an empty stomach..?
friend : I can eat 10
Santa : Pagal.. 6 bolta to mast joke sunata..
Hindi |
41संता की मौत बिजली गिरने से हो गई
पर उसकी लाश मुस्कुराते हुए मिली
भगवान ने पुछा ऐसा क्यों ?
संता - मैनु लगा जी कोई फोटो खींच रहा है ..
Santa ki maut bijli girne se ho gai
par uski laash muskuraate hue mili
Bhagwan ne poocha aisa kyun?
Santa - Mainu laga ji koi photo kheench raha hai..
Hindi |
00Santa : I am always delighted
when people stick their noses in my business.
Banta: Why, what do you do..?
Santa : I make Tissue Papers..
English |
20Accident hua Bahut Bhid thi,
Santa ko dekhne ka mauka nahi mil raha tha to
woh zor se chillaya "Ye mera BAAP hai"
Bheed peeche hati to dekha GADHA MARA THA.
Hindi |
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